Sanctum Sanctorum

Of love and redemption

Facing his inner demons. Illustrated by Navilan akilan

Navigating alone on the choppy seas of life,
Each memory slicing me, like a carved knife.
I wore a plastic smile when on the inside I was shattered,
Sometimes even cried out aloud, as if it even mattered.

I felt I couldn’t take any more of this
And continued to sink into the sickening abyss.
Then came you, like a lovely dream
Bringing me a chance to transform, to redeem.

I sometimes wonder, what was it that lured me on?
Was it your enigma or was it the suave poise you adorned?
Either way, I fell hopelessly in love,
And yearned for you every then and now.

For this forlorn seeker, you seemed an elusive Snitch
Every time I saw you, my pulse surged to a feverish pitch.
Awe-inspiring as a dragon; pristine and lovely as a unicorn,
As ethereal as anything I ever laid my eyes upon.

Yes, the world did taunt; it did mock,
But destined we were, to come together and talk.
You made me feel less and less alone,
Introduced worlds that were hitherto unknown.

You saw it all - my smiles and sorrows, tantrums and tears.
With you, I shared my deepest secrets and darkest fears.
For the first time, I could unapologetically be myself,
In you, I lost and redeemed myself.

Keeping me up all night, in your unique fashion,
And yet, leaving me unsatiated, burning with passion.
Basking in your heady aroma, caressing clumsily with my fingers,
Even now, every scent and every moment tantalizingly lingers.

Lying on the grass, soaking in the warmth of the sun
And yours; our hearts beating together as one.
In you, I seek refuge and solace,
And want to remain frozen forever, in your warm melting embrace.

Your ink might fade, your pages may turn brown,
But in the vortex of your words, I cannot help but drown.
Instilling hope and the ability to cope — be it good or bad,
Thanks for being the best companion I have ever had.

This poem was written in collaboration with Naman Karn.