Talks By The Firelight 3.5: Sound of the Silenced
Akkai Padmashali, Transgender and LGBT Activist, Founder of Ondede
When sitting down to talk with Akkai Padmashali over a conference call, it is evident from her resigned incandescence, that here is a person scorned.
A person whom the society has failed — failed to recognize properly, and failed to celebrate properly. A person who has taken everything in their stride, and so much more. Beginning her journey by battling for acceptance and inclusion for herself, she has since helmed the responsibility of fighting for the rights of the entire transgender community along with the communities of other sexual minorities — the embodiment of intersectional feminism.
In what was an extremely insightful and delightful interview, she spoke about the struggles the transgender community has faced and the journey ahead for society as a whole.
Is there a story behind the name Akkai? Did you choose it for yourself, or did someone else present you the name?
Whilst choosing a name to keep for myself, the options I had were Akkeshwari or Akkaiamma. But I wanted it to be a little shorter. So I cut my whole name and made it Akkai, while Padmashali suited as a nice pronoun. To the outside world, I’m known as Akkai, within the transgender community I’m called Akkai amma, and in my husband’s house, they call me Padma. So, people call me multiple names.
Do you have a certain experience that you would consider as your eye-opening moment?
I don’t remember any particular moment, to be very frank.
At each time, at each situation, my eye opens; like for instance, when there’s a violation, when there’s an assault, or when there’s discrimination. I think my eye keeps opening, especially to fight the larger battles in society.
Frankly speaking, throughout these 30 years of struggle, I couldn’t keep my eyes closed at each and every incident. The situations and the difficult times made me open my eyes, making me question the existence of this discrimination in society because of identity and sexuality.
We have struggled for acceptance. We have struggled for existence. We have struggled for identity. We are still struggling for social inclusivity. How do you educate the extremely large society by talking about your story? Talking about your story is not easy; it takes a certain amount of acceptance, passion and guts to do so. But I still share my story, whenever and however possible, in my own way.
You are a singer yourself. How hard was it for you to break into the performing arts scene, which can often be very conservative?
My grandmother, Kamalamma, was a classical singer. My father’s sister, Chikkamma, was one too. She refused to teach me classical music because of my identity. She assumed that if I learnt classical music I’d become feminine or a transwoman.
Through a broadcasted TV show, I was able to learn some of the devotional songs and classical songs. I then made an attempt to learn music from Mrs. Chitra Chidambaram, an excellent teacher who accepted me the way I am and supported my desire to be a classical entertainer — a vocalist or a singer.
It so happened that the friends who were studying there felt uncomfortable studying with me. They complained to the teacher, “If Akkai is studying in the school, we don’t want to study there because she’s a transgender.”
I told my teacher, “Why do you have to lose hundreds of children because of my identity?” So then, I quit.
I still compose songs, I try to address the whole concept of gender and sexuality — my journey or my activism — and try to bring it through some music to the world.
Yours has been an active voice against section 377. Can you elaborate on what the fight was like and how do you feel, now that it has been ruled out?
Section 377 criminalized us from 1860 to 2009. In 2009, the Delhi high court judgement declared that we are no longer criminals.
The 2011–2013 judgement said, “No, you are re-criminalized.”
Then in the 2014–2015 judgement, the Supreme Court said that the community is again re- criminalized, after the final review.
Finally in 2018, they declared that we are no longer criminals. How can the law be so conservative and phobic?
Without understanding the politics of sexuality and gender, without knowing in depth about gender identity and its diversity, how can the law and society play with and display discontent towards one section?
I think I am hugely agitated to fight because of the way it is phrased. What is “criminal” and who is a criminal? Who decides it?
When the Transgender Judgement of 2014 — which favored the transgender community very particularly — was violating my rights for privacy, how do I defend myself and fight for my human rights? I think that’s how it was challenged and I’m so thankful for the Supreme Court’s constitutional bench for delivering such a historical verdict.
The judgement’s arrival notwithstanding, it cannot be only on the papers or the internet.
How do you implement it? How do you transform constitutional morality into public morality? This is the big question.
I agree that it’s a very big challenge. I know that India is the largest democracy and boasts of numerous cultures and religions. I think it may even take the next 15 years or so to completely eradicate discrimination, for even the judgement to speak and practice social inclusivity.
What was your vision when you founded the organisation, Ondede, for children, women and sexual minorities?
I think that across the country, the sexual minority movement, organizations, coalitions and methods working for sexual minorities were more focused on the issues of sexual minorities alone. Working for myself for the next 15–20 years will not resolve the problems in our society. I believe that the idea of convergence has really encouraged me. It provides a larger vision while also ensuring that we take up the issues specializing in gender across movements by not limiting it to just women, children and sexual minorities, but also other minorities.
It is important to recognize the caste minorities and religious minorities and to work with political leaders and parties, the media, constitutional authorities and global platforms. This is much broader than what we assumed 15 years ago but that’s the idea of convergence — it’s what Ondede means; it’s the Kannada word for convergence. We are a feminist group and we are not big in number for an organization but the core value of convergence is something that we aspire to achieve over the next 20–30 years in whatever way possible.
We’ve seen reports of an increase in abuse and violence at home ever since the lockdown began. In this regard, how has the transgender community as a whole been affected?
We, the sex workers community and the transgender community, are the most vulnerable because we directly depend on the earnings we receive from daily begging and sex work.
And with those avenues for income being shut down since the last four months, I think we are in a situation that is really messed up.
I’ve been approaching and talking to people, friends and supporters all this while to raise money and get rations, lest people go hungry. This was our proposal when we met the Chief Minister and the Opposition Party leader but the government did not really show interest to see what this is about. Medical ailments are rampant and people are suffering. There is COVID-19, AIDS, cancer, diabetes and also of course, the general illnesses. And this is only one part.
The social part is that there are people telling us, “You’re living in the streets and you are the bearers of the coronavirus. So please vacate the house.” The rent being demanded is at least Rs 8,000 per house and some people have not been able to pay them for the past 3–4 months. People are not going to hospitals even for a check-up and the government has not bothered to educate them or create awareness on what COVID-19 is and how it affects the vulnerable communities. As Ondede, we believe that it’s not about publicising the issue, but rather fulfilling their needs. I think one-to-one communication makes more sense than social media.
In the fight for basic rights and the struggle against patriarchy, what, in your opinion, would you consider as the primary challenge? What is the root cause for the discrimination against all sexual minorities, and how do we help in getting rid of it?
I think the feminist movement in the country is really fighting against patriarchal power. The question though is all about how you decentralize this power — how you fight patriarchy from the context of feminism and that of the structured systems that have existed due to male domination. I think the realist, feminist, caste and class minority movements are really fighting against that. As a transgender rights activist, as a sexual minority activist and as someone fighting against patriarchy, I condemn any sort of patriarchy.
Even within the movement, I don’t justify that all sexual minorities are very liberal and practising feminism — I don’t agree with that. I think there are people even within the sexual minority movement and the women’s rights movement who are practising patriarchy.
Another part of the problem, in my opinion, is that there are people within the women’s rights movement who are transphobic and homophobic. I wouldn’t say that all women’s rights activists are pro-sexuality and gender. This is a very long and debatable issue and I definitely don’t tolerate this sort of double standards. It is a serious challenge and it gives you the determination to fight the larger obstacle of patriarchal power.
To conclude this wonderful interview, as a proud mother, how do you feel to have begun the blissful journey of parenthood?
I think the terms ‘mother’ and ‘father’ are patriarchal words. I don’t want to use them. I want to be a good friend to my child. I don’t even want to decide my child’s sex and gender now. I’ve experienced this journey, this identity crisis. So I want to leave it to my child to decide its sex and gender.
Until the child matures by the age of 12–13, as a parent it is my duty to nurture the child in a comfortable environment; not bother about gender but definitely bother about the issues surrounding it. My husband Vasu and I are doing it in that manner.
It’s again very challenging because my family is against it. They say, “Don’t bring your politics into this. This child is a boy and we’ll call the child ‘him’ only, since Avin is a boy’s name.”
We named our child Avin because A stands for Akkai, V stands for Vasu and “in” means child. That’s how we presumed it and tomorrow, it might change. I think I need to be there as a person when tomorrow’s society accepts the child’s feelings and I will also demand that from you. Tomorrow, you people should be good friends, supporters and family for that child.
Both the COVID-19 pandemic and the lockdown that ensued haven’t been easy on any of us, even more so for the repeatedly oppressed. We as a society, especially in these trying times, owe each other empathy and the opportunity to live a basic life of dignity. Ondede as an organisation has supported so many ostracised individuals throughout the pandemic, but it would be impossible for them to be able to do so without your support. We would like to take this opportunity to ask you to donate how much ever feasible to the organisation through the link below.
This article was written in collaboration with Sunil Jagatheesan.
