Who’s Your Thank You?

First, thank you to all who read and responded to my New Year’s gratefulness letter. It was amazing to read all the comments and hear from so many of you. Several of you reached out to ask what I do each year for goal setting and how I create a life action plan. To that end, I’ve decided to create a few follow up posts on Facebook and LinkedIn with a step by step process for those who are interested. If this is something that doesn’t interest you, feel free to unfollow me for the next 60 days. If it does interest you, then read on.

For some reason, goal setting often has an “infomercial” stereotype attached to it. Usually whoever is talking about it has something to sell; a book, CD or seminar. Typically, I keep my goal setting ritual and specifics to myself. However, because of all the requests I received, I have decided to share my process as well as some of my goals with you to provide examples and perspective.

I am certainly not the most accomplished of my friends or family. However, I am definitely someone who has a story to tell about success, failure and overcoming adversity.

Most people who take on goal setting usually focus on career and/or financial areas of their lives. Something along the lines of “where do I want to be with my job?” Some get stuck there and never move forward. Others take swift action, perhaps not thinking about the long-term consequences. Maybe they take a job with better pay, but they need to travel more and be away from their family. Other popular goals are “how much money do I need for retirement?” “I want to be more active and/or lose weight.” These are important things to look at and set goals for but there are so many other areas to look at in the process.

Personally, I set goals on my birthday (in June) every year and I focus on these eight areas; family, physical, financial, mental, spiritual, social (friends), career and relationship (spouse). I have been doing this for the past 27 years when my cousin, (thank you Sol Avzaradel,) first introduced me to goal setting. Little did I know then that the time he invested with me at 23 years old would ultimately give me everything I wanted in life. Goal setting works. However, you must know what you want and put in the time to achieve it.

Step One: Gratefulness Letter

Think of all the people who have helped you get to where you are today. Meet in person, write a letter or call them to say thank you. Who was there for you during a tough time? Who inspired or motivated you to be or do more? Who gave you a gentle nudge or maybe a huge push?

This is an interesting exercise for many people because it requires you to be vulnerable. It has the potential to make both people feel uncomfortable but, it also has the potential to make both people feel very grateful and proud. It requires humility to admit that you weren’t completely responsible for your own success or achievement.

Example: In May 2010, my good friend from Canada, (thank you Pete Kiss,) came to spend the weekend with me for my 40th birthday. He knew that I had been depressed and not myself and he knew why. He said, “Marc, just start smaller with your business and build from there. You have to get back in the game and stop being on the sidelines.” That nudge had a ripple effect. The next month, Jay and I sold our luxury SUVs, (our only assets left besides the homes that our wives and kids were living in) to put $50,000 down to acquire our first small project to build in Renton. I thanked Pete for this many years ago and still remind him how much it meant to me.

Example: In September 2010, one of my mentors and first investors, (thank you Howard Behar,) called out of the blue to say, “I believe in you and I think you will do great things.” I still get teary eyed thinking about how someone, out of nowhere, knew that I needed to hear that at that moment in my life. Those words, especially from someone I looked up to for his success, values and leadership, really resonated. I thank Howard every year for that call because it meant the world to me. It gave me just a bit more confidence to keep going and persevering when the rest of the world seemed to be pushing against me.

There are dozens of people and stories that I could add to this list. Who are yours? Have you told them how much they mean to you and the impact they’ve had? I bet they would love to hear from you, and they will remember it forever. People seldomly do this. They won’t be vulnerable. They won’t make that call in the middle of their day to share something that had a lifelong impact on them. On the flip side, if you know someone who may need that call to push or support, then be that person for someone else too. It works both ways.

Thank you for reading. Hopefully this first step will give you the start you need to begin creating a life plan for yourself. The next topic will be “creating your top 10 list for the decade. “

If this post was impactful for you please like, comment and share. Let’s see if we can create a movement around being grateful and thanking those that have influenced our lives.