Creative writing
‘Best Excuse ever’ — Award acceptance speech
If we are rabbits, then excuses are our offsprings. We just breed too many of them for various reasons. Why don’t we accept this flaw and also the award for exhibiting this flaw the best way?
That is what Paperians did when they wrote an Award Acceptance Speech for The Best Excuse Ever!
This is what Paperian Aastha wrote along with her thought process,
Concept: While receiving the award, I give multiple excuses for not having a good award acceptance speech. Here I have assumed that people will buy all the excuses and feel bad for me. But the speech full of excuses is a way to prove why I am receiving the award. Here it goes -
“Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen! I shall begin with the customary thank you because honestly, I don’t know what to say. I can’t really thank my parents for giving me the excuse gene, if that even exists. In fact, I help my parents with the best excuse every time they want to bail out from a social function.
I would have delivered a 5-minute long, eloquent award acceptance speech if it wasn’t for my bad writing skills. I did ask a few of my writer friends to grab a chance to showcase their skills in exchange of an excuse for getting late to work, but their loss!
I even Googled but guess what, even Google failed.
I apologize for ranting and boring you people. Once again, thank you.
(In my head, I have assumed that people have bought all these excuses and are feeling bad that the girl doesn’t have a speech ready on the big day. They are giving sad reactions.)
Well, now you know why I got this award. Thank you!
Paperian Harini, that is me, wrote
Thanks a lot for giving me this award. It is an absolute honor, given that I was never comfortable giving excuses. My personality wants to be liked by people, so I wasn’t very good with excuses, but I had to work a little harder on this.
But, all the credits for this award goes to my mother, like literally. You never know how powerful the word ‘mother’ is unless you use it as an excuse.
Want to say no to a party? “My mother is upset.”
Want to not meet a friend who is excited to meet you? “My mother wanted me to go shopping with her.”
Want to cancel that Goa trip without ghosting the group chat but also not getting much flak? “My mother thinks she will forget me if she wouldn’t see me for 4 days.”
Anywhere and everywhere. Mother said this, mother doesn’t want me to.
She is like alum put into a swimming pool, she absorbs all your bad intentions while canceling plans and spoiling mood, while she herself remains pure.
It is a little unbelievable that such a big girl still needs to take permission from her mother. But that is what makes it so much more believable. If mother is meddling, it must be serious.
I am happy to have used my mother as an excuse, and I think I am not selfish. Do you even know how much money I have saved?
Even for this award ceremony, I was planning to back out as all my excitement dissipated like my phone’s battery after two days of accepting the invite. But am glad I didn’t.
All my hard work of maintaining that my mother is the actual reason for me not following through my plans has paid off today. And all the credit goes to my mother.
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Till we meet the next time, happy writing!
