Into The Solo-Dining-Verse
From restaurateurs to patrons, has solo dining been given too little attention for too long? Maybe it is time for restaurants to reconsider their dining experience from the point of view of the growing tribe of solo diners.
My first memorable recollection of dining outside alone in a restaurant was in Hong Kong at Lin Heung Teahouse some fifteen years ago. I climbed up the staircase from the entrance on Wellington street not knowing where I was about to set foot. The roaring sound of the dining hall was arriving to my ears as I was passing by the big fish tanks.
Upstairs, I froze, unable to know my place. The main dining hall was filled with customers sitting together at large round tables. Waiters clad with a white uniform and black pants were swirling around, shouting in Cantonese, while waitresses in blue aprons were pushing carts smoking with promises of delicious dim sums. As soon as they stepped out of the kitchen, they were immediately surrounded by happy and hungry patrons. I stood there for a while at the top of the stairs. Nobody was really paying attention to me and my first inclination was to turn around and just give up on a lonely dim sum lunch.
Just as I was about to do so, a couple of elderly Hongkongers waived at me and signalled a free spot at their communal round table. I stepped into the dining hall. When I sat down, I thanked them in broken Cantonese, which amused them. They called a waiter. Before I even understood I was served a cup of hot Jasmine tea and handed a card. The elderly couple was gazing with kind eyes at my puzzlement. A younger patron, sitting across the table eventually started to explain to me in English that I simply had to rush to the carts, pick and point at the dim sums I wanted and have my card chopped by the waitress.
This experience as testing as it was in the moment, taught me to go beyond the feeling of being under the spotlight in a restaurant and the weirdness that one can feel when dining alone. I was helped by the fact that at Lin Heung Teahouse, solo diners are not exactly lonely. They are surrounded by many other patrons and share tables with them. It felt totally normal to be there by myself, even if at that time, there was no smartphone to stick to in order to get company. Eventually, I learnt through that experience to reconsider the way I was eating and connecting with my food and the environment when I was alone in restaurants.
Many people feel awkward about dining alone and solo travellers tend to skip dinners or eat quick meals. Solo dining evokes loneliness and for some even shame — as if going out to a restaurant alone was deemed to be proof of being anti-social. People also tend to overlook the food they have when they dine by themselves. They swallow the food as soon as possible to get rid of the fundamental “task” of eating to live. However, times are changing and the stigma is fading away. The number of people living alone is increasing — between 30 to 40% in a lot of developed economies — and the new rules of social distanciation may linger on longer than we imagine and force people to refrain from social gatherings for a while. In response to the crisis, many restaurants in the world are turning to delivery. Does this mean we will no longer be able to appreciate skilfully prepared dishes at restaurants anymore?
In countries where restaurants have a wide range of formats from a street stall to a lavish luxury restaurant, patrons are able to choose the right place according to their need. If alone, they usually pick the simplest eateries. Typically, street food stalls and counter restaurants such as ramen shops or bistros are quasi-made for solo dining. They offer a more socially and psychologically acceptable way of dining by oneself. Cheap, easy and quick. But solo diners should not be barred from going to other types of restaurants just because they fear to be on their own. Or because it would be a waste of money for a downgraded experience. High-end sushi restaurants stemming from the original Edo-style snacks or L’Atelier de Joël Robuchon are notable examples of fine dining restaurants catering among others to solo diners. The current situation is maybe an opportunity for restaurateurs to redesign their experience to push patrons to be more mindful of what they eat.
And should diners actually be thankful to be able to reconnect with the food we eat and reverse the previous underlying law of solo dining into “living to eat”? What should one do to get into the enjoyment of solo dining?A good start could be in the safety of one’s home. It is easy to indulge oneself in the comfort of our living rooms especially when alone. Sitting on a sofa, grabbing cup noodles or toasting some grilled cheese sandwiches while watching one’s favourite show — or maybe order food delivery from our favourite fast-food restaurant. But a better way to appreciate the time for oneself and to train to eat solo outside is to actually care about the experience one is going to have while dining alone at home. Paying attention to details will give to that moment you are giving yourself a new meaning. First of all, setting the table is key. Seven years ago, as I was visiting one of my friends in Paris and he was showing me his newly rented apartment I found out with surprise that even on lonely times he would set the table for himself. Dinner was an important moment, he said, and he would choose the cutlery carefully and have a proper meal, which for a French person means at least a main, cheese and a dessert or a fruit. So, no matter if you are eating on a dining table, on a desk or even on a tray, you should set the dining ware as if you were dining with someone. It is a show of respect of the food you are going to savour and if you ordered out to the people who prepared the food for you. In a sense, solo dining is similar to a meditative practise — it will help to reconnect with oneself and appreciate the food you eat.
Putting on some carefully chosen music might also help to get into the mood; something jazzy not too heavy and uplifting. Music has an effect on the taste of food and researchers are just starting to find out how: it is time to experiment which type of food goes best with which tunes. Last but not least, keep away from smartphones, laptops or TV screens even for just 10 minutes as they are distractions from the enjoyment of food. Again, you want to appreciate the moment for yourself.
Start with the general aspect of the dish, how you plated it, the colours used by the chef if you ordered from a restaurant. Then move to the textures, but only with the eyes first. Imagine them. Let the smell of the food invade your nose. Have a first bite. Let the taste seek in, feel the texture and compare with what you had imagined before. Taste again with a second bite. Maybe it’s time to have a sip of the glass of wine you just poured yourself. Maybe, you just want to appreciate the moment and listen to the music. It’s up to you to decide. Dining alone is a moment of freedom, a moment for oneself only. There is no social obligation or unnecessary conversation: just yourself and your food until the last bite.
Over the course of one month, when you have repeated this a couple of times, you will be ready to dine out on your own. Be nice with yourself and maybe start with a familiar place or try to go to Lin Heung Teahouse. If you are slightly more adventurous, you may move to more formal restaurants. For a first time, Francisco Araya, the head chef of Napa restaurant in Shanghai, recommends to start with soul food. As for Araya, solo dining is made for soul food.
“It can be caldillo de congrio (a Chilean conger stew) that reminds me of the coast of my country and fills my head with memories of happiness”. Then he adds, “And soul food is circumstantial also. If I am in California alone, going to Apple Pan an old institution diner in Santa Monica, would do the trick. I’d order a classic burger and that will give me great satisfaction for the history in it and the sense of place.”
Here you go, once you are settled down at your table, enjoy the details and attention you were given, remember the sense of freedom and be ready to dig into a whole new experience of solo dining.
FOOD+ would love to know if you have ever tried solo dining and if you have some rituals before and after enjoying a meal alone. Would you be ready to solo dine in a restaurant soon after the covid-19 crisis? You can share it in the comments below or write to the editors. To read more about dining from FOOD+, click here.
This article is an expanded version of a former article, published on another media.
