Letter to the Editor

Jeremy Rifkin is the second coming of Jesus, might as well as call him Jeremy Dalai Lama Christ from now on. It is amazing how he’s the first human being to figure out that Animals have feelings. Rifkin even brought up the heartwarming story about Koko the gorilla with an IQ of 9001, has a PhD in rocket science, and created the rocket that landed us on mars.

However, Jeremy Rifkin should have taken it further. He should have brought up the fact that meat has a 100% chance of giving you cancer. That means no more experiments that could lead to a cure for aids, no clothes, and make it federal law that everyone should be an egotistical vegan and whoever isn’t will be punished by death. That’s because it is a proven fact that meat eaters are rapist serial killers who are literally worse than Hitler. If we would stop eating meat, we will achieve world peace with our fellow creatures. The creatures of Earth would never try to kill us, carnivores are a made-up concept by meat manufacturers to get us to buy their products. I feed my dog grass and he’s so healthy that he’s vomiting every day.

~Jake R.