5 French restaurant etiquettes that no one knows
French gastronomy is world-renowned but French restaurants are an absolute enigma. This complex, intricate, and foreign eating culture can be perplexing, and even intimidating for tourists and newcomers. Also, I’d want to clarify that when I say “restaurants,” I mean the traditional, informal eateries with vast outdoor seating that are so typical of France and can be found all around the cities. Now that we’ve cleared everything up, let’s get started…
1. Choose your own table
I have yet to travel the whole world, but from what I knew, the standard protocol was to enter a restaurant and wait for the waiter to assign you a seat. However, not in France! You can take any table you like as long as it is empty. Most essential, do not wait for the waiter to escort you to your table and hold your chair back while you settle in. You’ll simply come across as a hopeless romantic.
Of course, I learned the hard way. On one of my first visits to a restaurant, I waited for someone to welcome me and show me my table for 5 to 7 minutes. Finally, fatigued and hungry, I approached a passing waiter, who informed me that a seat would cost 50 euros! If you had any doubts, he was simply pulling my leg.
2. WAIT for the waiter
After being seated and settling in, the next obvious step is to read the menu and place an order. If you’re in luck, you may find a QR code affixed to the corner of your table. If so, you can access the menu right away without having to wait for the waiter to bring it to you. If this is not the case, you must wait until the waiter decides to serve you the menu. Having the menu in your hands is only half the battle won. You may have to wait for another few to several minutes before the waiter arrives to take your order.
We once went to a restaurant right behind one of Paris’ most famous museums, with burning stomachs, expecting to be served food quickly. From the moment we were seated to the time we received our order, we waited 45 minutes. Not to forget, we had ordered the most basic French dish possible, crêpes!
3. Order independently
What this means is if there are two individuals, you order two main courses, two desserts, two drinks, and finally, two coffees to end your meal. OK, the French are not such big sticklers for rules and you CAN order a single starter, but the rest stays the same. This can be a real struggle for people who cannot finish a plate themselves or for people wanting to eat out on a budget. The most common explanation I have heard for this unsaid rule is it is considered impolite to order just a single dish.
To this day, I struggle to finish my own plate. And, because everyone else at the table has enormous dishes to complete, I’m on my own. Fortunately, there is the option to parcel, which also seems to be a relatively new practice!
4. Drink your water
Thankfully, water is free and unlimited. Unlike in many other countries where restaurants charge for water, it is mandatory by law in France to serve clients tap water if they ask for it. Don’t worry, you don't need to explicitly state ‘tap’ water to avoid being charged. Simply asking for water does the trick. However, water is usually offered with the food, so you may have to wait a little before you can quench your thirst.
Yes, you can ask for it before too! What an amazing idea! But if you have gathered anything from what you’ve read thus far, you should know that “Have patience with all things. But, first of all, with French waiters”.
5. Play along with the waiters
French restaurants are places of conviviality, laughter, and noise, which sometimes include the waiters. It is not uncommon to see waiters chit-chatting with regular clients and of course, we all know about the famous French eye wink! Even with newcomers and tourists, waiters do not hesitate to have fun and pull their legs!
We once asked a waiter to take our picture and another waiter started complimenting us, jokingly, and then joined us in our photo! We had laughed till our stomachs hurt, but we still remember that restaurant because of that waiter.
Bonus tip
For those who have made it this far, here’s a bonus tip to reward your perseverance! Don’t be surprised if the person seated next to you takes out their lunch box and eats from it in the restaurant. Not to add that this is not acceptable in high-end, specialty formats, but it is not uncommon in more casual settings. This, however, is only permissible if you have ordered something from the restaurant. It is also preferable to seek permission from the waiter. But if you bring your own baguette to go with your drinks, no one needs to know!
Just like many other things otherwise overlooked in the rest of the world, restaurants and eating out is a vibrant culture in France. It is a moment to unwind and relax with yourself, your friends, or loved ones, reflect within, or observe the world passing by. With these 5+1 tips in hand, I hope you enjoy a great French restaurant experience with few or no unpleasant surprises sneaking around the corner. Even if you encounter one, just remember to trust the process!
The author writes about daily life, personal growth, and self-help. She has no certificate in either of the subjects. Follow her on her journey of self-discovery and share your thoughts/ experiences in the comments below!
