Shocking ONS study reveals pay gap between adults and children
A recent study by the Office of National Statistics has revealed that people of a lower age earn on average 73% less than their older counterparts, leading many equality groups to demand that companies reveal all their age pay gap data
Reporting by equal pay correspondent Calor Gas
Following a damning study demonstrating that on average workers of Bangladeshi and Pakistani heritage earn around £2 less a week than white British workers — we won’t mention how the Chinese are the highest earners in the country as that is irrelevant obviously — the ONS have released another study showing how people aged between 18 and 65 earn nearly three quarters more a week than those under the age of 18.
Although not taking into account factors such as experience, occupation, education, qualifications attained, work ethic, number of hours worked and employment status, the figures are a disgusting reminder how much pay inequality there is between the differently aged.
Those aged between 0 and 10 are the group with the lowest median earnings with many making less than £1 a week for unskilled work often paid by their grandma. The ONS acknowledge that wages for this particular group are difficult to track as many have their earnings periodically delivered under their pillow.
The situation improves slightly between the ages of 10 and 16 with some moving into professions like lawnmowing, hoovering and newspaper delivery, resulting in average earning of around £2.47 per hour.
The group aged between 18 and 65, however, earn around £11 an hour on average despite only working in professions like engineering and banking.
Equality groups such as the Communist Party have voiced their outrage at the findings, stating that they “cannot believe” that in 2019 it’s possible for people to be paid differently based on their age, experience and the job they do.
“How are those of fewer years meant to support themselves and afford basic amenities when their favoured professions are so poorly paid?” says Communist Party leader Joromy Bourbon.
“Our current societal system is so inexplicably rigged to favour highly qualified individuals with lots of experience.
“A Communist Party government would seek to end this vile pay inequality and give everyone a chance of success by making it illegal for one job to be paid more than another. Left to its own devices our racist and ageist society will always produce inequality — that’s why we advocate for enormous government control. If you don’t agree with that you’re clearly a hate figure.”
Always keen for a little more self-flagellation, many Brits are eagerly awaiting the next ONS report on pay inequality.
Could it be pay inequality between gays and straights? Between dogs and cats? Between nans and grandmas? Between gingers and brunettes? No one knows.
But one thing is for sure: we’re going to obnoxiously show off our virtue and compassion by voicing just how disgusted we are at inequality in all its forms.
