Millions of Britons flee to China to live with more freedom
Around three million Brits have applied for asylum in China with most saying that the Asian superstate provides more personal freedom than what is currently available in Boris Johnson’s “conservative” Britain during coronavirus
Reporting by liberty correspondent Kong Hong
The Chinese government are preparing thousands of flights to pick up the millions of Britons wanting to flee the country following Boris Johnson’s latest round of coronavirus restrictions on personal freedoms, including the recruiting of marshals to enforce proper COVID-safe behaviour.
The British public has also been encouraged by officials to report any neighbours breaking the so-called “Rule of Six”. This will certainly not result in fights between neighbours nor can we think of any other regime that has told individuals to dob in those around them for socially undesirable behaviour.
The latest UK restrictions — brought in because a few naughty young people were still having big parties — limit gatherings to six people in certain settings while people in Wuhan are able to have massive pool parties with no restrictions.
The Chinese said that foreigners moaning about the pool party were just “sour grapes” — it’s not sour grapes it’s just shock at how reckless the country has been considering that China of all places is now seemingly the worst at limiting liberty in order to stop the virus.
Britons are apparently attracted to a little bit of freedom over safety as they deal with living in an increasingly necessarily-tyrannical nation that was previously regarded as an outpost of individual freedom away from the righteous socialists on the European mainland.
Although the politically-correct usually hate tarnishing an individual by the sins of the group — feel free to sample the reaction you’ll get if you say most on the migrant boats aren’t refugees — they’ve been more than happy to embrace these restrictions that have taken away freedoms from people who’ve committed no crime.
Adherence to these restrictions will be enforced by a new horde of COVID marshals, paid positions that anyone can apply for. We and the government are hoping that the positions will attract those most dedicated to social distancing.
“One thing Britain is definitely short of is moral busybodies looking for an excuse to exercise their most tyrannical impulses,” says lead COVID marshal Henrika Himmleria.
“All the marshals under me will be on initial three-month contracts but I really hope they’ll become a permanent fixture on Britain’s streets.
“Far too many people are living with anxiety when out shopping. If we remove every unpredictable element and make the process of going to the shop as regimented as possible, we can live in a world where no one is ever anxious ever again.”
So far it appears that most people fleeing to China are claiming to be “not scared” by a virus that has been ripping through the very old, the chronically ill and the morbidly obese. Clearly they are not aware that it can also make younger people a bit poorly.
We asked resident far-right fascist Keith Blob why he’s making the switch to Wuhan: “Yeh the Chinks will probably monitor me just as much in Rotherham so I may as well go and live somewhere a bit fuckin’ cheaper!
“I also can’t wait to watch a state media that doesn’t tell you to fuckin’ hate yourself for being a person that likes their country!”
