Study finds that telling people your dog is a rescue makes you a 64% better person
It’s always been suspected that people who get a rescue dog are above the average human and this new study by Battersea Dogs & Cats Home confirms their supremacy over purebred purchasing scum
Reporting by canine correspondent Dogg Strust
It’s something that most of us have always known but now it’s finally been confirmed by science.
People who own a rescue dog ARE better people than people who get a puppy from a litter — science says so. And by a massive 64% as well.
Now when you post on Facebook or Instagram while explicitly mentioning that your dog is a rescue, you can rest assured that science backs your subtle attempt to show people how good you are because you adopted a rescue.
The same study — which surveyed 4132 people who came through the doors of Battersea Dogs & Cats Home — also revealed that 100% of people who owned a rescue will tell you that the dog is adopted when they first meet you.
Not only is this an emphatic confirmation of rescue dog owners’ supremacy, it also brings into question whether those who opt to purchase a purebred should even be allowed to own any animals, let alone dogs.
Crufts — presumably worried about the impact this report will have on its core audience — have immediately dismissed the legitimacy of the study, stating that Battersea Dogs & Cats Home are politically motivated in releasing the results to deliberately discredit anyone who wants to buy a purebred pooch.
A spokesperson for the dog show said: “This so-called “study” by Battersea Dogs & Cats Home is a blatant attempt to shit on people who know what sort of dog they want and go out to get that exact dog.
“To demonise people who like dogs to look like how they’re supposed to look is thoroughly irresponsible. Just because they typically like to smack their dogs into shape does not mean they treat them badly.”
Of course everything the Crufts side of the argument say about the issue is done entirely in bad faith because they’re evil and so anything true they say is totally irrelevant.
It should also be noted that to enjoy the benefits of being a rescue dog adopter, you have to repeatedly tell everyone else about how you got the dog.
To simply enjoy the fact that you have given a better life to a lonely, neglected dog is not enough unfortunately.
To find out more how to successfully demonstrate how superior you are for having a rescue dog, visit the Dogspotting Society Facebook page for numerous examples of the phenomenon in question.
