What They Didn’t Teach Me In Those Gifted Programs

An Excerpt, with the essentials extracted, from @JRoc23's Way Too Lengthy Piece “The Smart Ass From The Gifted Class”; Exploring The “Gifted & Talented” Experience, Through The Drinking Glass.

Gifted. Giftedness? Intellectual Fucking Giftedness. You know, that Advanced, Intelligent, Smart Kid? That Eccentric, Effervescent, Excitable, Freakish Geekish Idiosyncratic Jerky Odd Mental Quiet Quirky Lightning Rod of a Sharp Strange Troublemaking Weird Ass Kid? Xth¹ Grade Elementary Class, shuffled off X Classes A Day, or X Days A Week, to a Mysterious “Gifted” Schooling Existence. That Smart Ass? Well, that was me. Now all grown up! Eh, somewhat, but not really. 40's in my head, 30's — Wait no, 20's, in this reality. In this universe, where I am still alive and ̶ ̶k̶i̶c̶k̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶ coasting, having debated to not answer The Call to jump off that 23rd Floor, Rooftop Private Patio, on a Condo Up Top Toronto. That “Gifted Kid”, who is not so fucking “Gifted” anymore… Except for the realization that throughout writing this introspectively honest Magnum Opus, exploring the Modus Operandi² of the Gifted Label and it’s stigmatic strife, I really wish the 1 thing they taught me in those professedly irrelevant Gifted Classes was if they were right — And they were — It really was

GIFTED 4 LIFE.

Intellectually Gifted, just so we’re clear. That “Gifted”, in it’s popularly used short-form. I’m taking it literally, semantically. So trust me, I understand The Look associated with the word when discussing Gifted. Its misconceptions, misunderstandings. Its preconceived notions. Its elitist illusions, that were conjectured just by reading out loud “The Gifted Class”.

GIFTED; Not the dressed up adjective, but the seemingly innate trait of intellectual ability and talent — In the early developmental, schooling system sense. Like, Gifted Classes, Gifted Programs — Gifted And Talented Education, is what I’m referring to. But absolutely not necessarily about.

The Albert Einstein / Good Will Hunting / Sharon Stone Style of Intellectually Gifted is the reference point¹ I’m referring to.

And as pretentious as the playground definition¹ has got Gifted twisted, alongside the polarizing stigma that surrounds speaking about the subject, ON TOP of The Complex I’ve developed over it — It’s an actual thing. I mean, it’s really me. Maybe it’s you? Or somebody you know, though this may be the worst resource you can refer to.

Obviously, it’s not a Rule about Being Intellectually Gifted and being Labelled Gifted, but THE LABEL does add another layer to the G-Factor. A Double Edged Sword it was, if you will.

So while I’m coming from that Gifted Label angle, I’d like to think Gifted Kids are Cut From The Same Cloth. Team Gifted, I say, fully knowing how ridiculous that notion is

Gifted… Gifted is a skill set of mental characteristics. Ah, but a paradox of sorts. A Doubled Edged Sword. Essentially, an intellectual ability significantly advanced, at an earlier age. An exceptional mental capability, with an extraordinary outset potential. An Intelligence Quotient in social grandeur, an Emotional Intelligence in seemingly frivolity. A very particular set of skills, Skills I have acquired over a very short career.

This Gifted type of intelligence and perspectives not earned at the Age of 3. I mean, how could it be? So, about those particular set of characteristics? Well, let me try and rhyme off what I’ve learned throughout the years from the several sources I’ve searched engrossingly. From Psychology Today to Talent Development; And from The Gifted Adult to my favourite, TWITTER¹.

Let me channel my Empathy, by presenting the following Gifted Characteristical Paradoxical Potpourri:

A Driven Need To Know

Intellectually Curious, But Calculatory

Just Knowing The Answers, Yet Asking More Questions

Questioning Rules And Authority

Reading At An Advanced Rate

Having An Exceptional Memory

Grasping Mature Concepts At An Early Age (Like Existential Depression)

Asynchronous Puberty

Intellectually Intense, Maybe Even Obsessed

Learning Expeditiously

A Divergent Imagination

An Over-Excitability

Adventurous, With A Knack To Discover

Autodidacticism and Developing Precociously

Difficulties Focusing

Multitalented, Or A Multipotentiality

Dissatisfaction With The Status Quo

Rebellious and Acting Out Capriciously

Idealistic, Seeing The Best

Believing In Yourself Or An Entelechy

Highly Self-Aware, Self-Conscious, Self-Critical

An Over-Excitability, An Excruciatingly Heightened Sensitivity

Empathetic, Intuitive, Restless

And that was just a little taste of this intellectual salmagundi. So basically, a lame set of intellectual superpowers. One where you can seemingly Hear The Singing Of The Flowers.

This is My Gifted, My Curse. An asynchronicity of an advanced intelligence at a youthful age. A paradox of conflicting, complex emotions and feelings. A label that categorizes your entire life. All equaling a distorted perspective on how to deal with, and apply said, Intellectual Giftedness into the real world. And yes, I threw in that Spider-Man reference. So my curse, The Curse Of The Gifted? That includes this other side of the Mental Health Spectrum:

ADD to OCD

ADHD to ODD

Anxiety to Insomnia

Astigmatism to Myopia

Dyslexia to Dyscalculia¹

Clumsiness to Dyspraxia¹

Bi-Polar to Multiple Personality Disorder

Or maybe Autism or Asperger’s

Or how about Imposter Syndrome, You Self-Saboteur

Hearing constantly refrains of “Are You Crazy?” or “Why Are You Lazy”²

A “Late Bloomer”

Having Inappropriate Off-The-Wall Humour

Deep Empathy To Neighbours And World Affairs

Having Vivid Memories, to Suffering Vivid Nightmares

Heavy Guilt³, or Soul Slicing Shame

Constantly Comparing Yourself, And Coming Up Incredibly Lame

High Sensitivities, from Feeling to Smelling to Hearing

Just descriptions of this abstract Gifted Problems/Gifted Complex that I’m convinced is An Actual Thing. Essentially, the feelings inside that your body and mind might be wrecked — All just a sampling of a Bubbling Venn Diagram of surrounding side effects.

WHY YES! It does appear Intellectual Giftedness and Learning Disabilities Often Go Hand In Hand! Again, it’s the other Edge of The Sword. And when that side is especially sharp, it’s known as Twice Exceptional. But when it isn’t diagnosed, it is known as something else, which crumbles under the various Misdiagnosis And Dual Diagnosis of Intellectually Gifted Individuals. Intellectual Giftedness Should Not Be Confused with Mental Disorder. But that’s how stigmatic discussing Intellectual Giftedness¹ can really be. If not properly identified, it can manifest as a something else, band-aiding the situation without putting Polysporin². Ah, The Misunderstood Face Of Giftedness.

Funny enough? All of these terms and concepts presented were not even broached in my childhood “Gifted Program” experience, well because, Childhood. Looking back, I don’t give a damn if it was childhood, y’all got to at least introduce us Gifted Kids to the long road ahead. It’s like, no one bothered to explain What Does Gifted Even Mean? Or asked How Do You Feel About Being Gifted? Or even provided a guidebook or instruction manual like How To Chicken Soup For The Gifted Kid Soul¹ they were so focused on the Gifted Class Curriculum, like Debating Artificial Intelligence, Presentations Of Endangered Species, C̶h̶i̶l̶d̶ ̶L̶a̶b̶o̶u̶r Planting Flowers and Growing Gardens, Dissecting Frogs and Mice, Watching A Beautiful Mind, or Rain Man, or whatever else wacky ideas our eccentric Gifted Teachers tried to exclusively stimulate us Gifted Kids.

They didn’t really instill critical, useful, common things, like

Channeling Your Intensity

Developing Proper Studying Habits

How To Fail

Keeping Your Heart Rate In Check

How To ACTUALLY Believe In Yourself

Self-Confidence, Self-Esteem, even Self-Actualization

Avoiding The Pitfalls Self-Criticism, Self-Doubt, Self-Harming, Self-Sabotage

How To Small Talk and Socialize

Tips To Stop Losing The Pencil You’re Writing With

Struggling With The Seemingly Simplest Shit

Going To Sleep Mechanisms, As Sleep Is Important

Time Management Skills

The Stock Market, Who Cares If I’m 12

Where To Develop My Right Arm That Can Really Throw A Baseball² Even Though What I Enjoy Isn’t A So Called Intellectual Pursuit; Or

Winging It Just Won’t Cut It One Day

Well, at least they instilled in us “Critical Thinking”. I love Critical Thinking. Critical Thinking is also a seemingly innate characteristic, that all Gifted Programs really did was just give this thinking process a term to call it.

Anyways, there comes This Wall in life one day, where some of us¹ JUST SLAM into, as The Emotions or The Feels of “Being Gifted” just flat out outweigh The Cares, The Learnings, or The Fucks Given about Being Gifted, as the flame appears to burn out. The Dark Implications, of Gifted Intelligence, if you will. Trust Me (At least anecdotally) — They’re not necessarily unique problems — Which is OK ! — It’s really a set of shared, common, Gifted Problems.

The cutting DISSES of being called “Gifted”. The kids talking shit behind my back where I could hear conversations across the room using my Tests or Report Cards as a measuring stick. The ridiculous feelings of being easily embarrassed, or ashamed at being incorrect.

They really should have taught us how to deal with this whole normalcy thing in Gifted Class. Like, it’s OK to not feel normal; Or, the feelings of being constantly uncomfortable; How to exist outside the comfort zone; Or Being Hated On For Being Smart¹; Even just the whole Square Peg, Round Hole conundrum Gifted Kids tend to constantly find themselves in.

Does Gifted mean I’m better than anyone else on Life’s Road? Do I Think I’m Better Than Everyone Else? Do I Think I’m Too Good, Too Smart For This? Absolutely not. Even though I’ve heard that common criticism, being “Gifted”. BUT… I guess it does help me be better.

Speaking of, Underrated Indicators Of Actual Intelligence has to include: Not Being Easily Offended; An Off The Wall, Even Inappropriate Sense Of Humour; Open Mindedness; Being Highly Adaptable; Skepticism/Critical Thinking; The Recognition Of Irony and Sarcasm; Empathy; And of course, ACTUAL Practical Applications Of Intelligence.

The one regret I did have, in hindsight, was not being accelerated. Because Intellectually Gifted Kids should be accelerated through the system, with Special Gifted Programs. You probably even get the most bang for the educational buck. Wait, is this thought process elitist? Well, no. Athletically Gifted Kids are accelerated, as poignantly posed through Palcuzzi’s Ploy¹.

Well, at least I know that I’m not completely alone in that job hopping scheme & scanning, successes and failings, as illustrated through the very relevant book Gifted Grownups: The Mixed Blessing Of Extraordinary Potential.

Other descriptive “labels” besides Gifted Underachiever that I’ve also heard and can relevantly apply to my existence: Exceptional. Indigo¹. Introvert. Lone Wolf. Loner. Misunderstood. Night Owl. Non-Conformist. Old Soul. Outcast. Problematic. Raging. Rebel. Restless. Too Much.

Also, Ambivert. Avant-Garde. Effervescent. Empath. Entrepreneur. Exception To The Rule. Exemplary. HSP (Highly Sensitive Person). Idealist. INTJ². Intense. Outlier. Perfectionist. Sapiosexual. Virgo³.

This whole time I’ve waiting for the perfect time, when there is no perfect time.

Or I’m just poor at Mastering The Art Of Timing¹.

Alas, I think I’ve at least found the perfect Medium. One, where I have a clean canvass, an honest atmosphere, to openly discuss my Gifted Experience where I won’t get shit on by Anonymous Shitheads in the random Blogosphere, or worse, get wrecked Tweens on Tumblr, on this honestly seemingly delicate subject.

I know I’m not one to give advice, but if I can share some wisdom that I’ve cherished and valued, it would be to Own Your Difference. My Difference happens to be Intellectual Giftedness, which I have been trying to own. I’m not saying it’s the panacea to the Gifted Problems dilemma, but ignorance is not bliss when you know what’s amiss. Gifted? Own it.

If there is 1 last thing that I hope can be learned from my experience, and if I didn’t iterate it enough throughout my carefully constructed, painstakingly prose, emboldened opening statements through each short chapter of this unnecessarily lengthy Medium — If there is 1 thing I know, throughout the internal strife, it’s that i̶t̶ ̶r̶e̶a̶l̶l̶y̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶, i̶t̶ ̶r̶e̶a̶l̶l̶y̶ ̶h̶a̶s̶ ̶b̶e̶e̶n̶, it really is, #GIFTED 4 LIFE.