Good-Girl (Not Really a Good-Girl)
How that obsolete idea forged to cripple down society
Why I hated it so much of the idea about being a good-girl? Because it sucks! That idea is not only obsolete but also has been contributing to many problems that revolved around woman. Let me explain about this! That notion of “being a Good Girl” is a by-product that was manufactured by culture. That is passed-through from one generation to the next-one, yet we never knew exactly the intention behind it and why does that emerged. What’s more funny than that is, it becomes our “operating-system” to navigate towards life. How does it becomes a problem not only for woman? because following things blindly, without having understanding is dangerous.
Imagine this! If we live our life with a guidance that we don’t know exactly the intention is, how can we move forward? It’s like following a GPS without knowing the destination and the reason why it directs us to one path as opposed the others. I am not saying that we shouldn’t be good or doing a good deeds, on the contrary, we should and we need to! But, in the context of living as a woman, we need to consider ourselves as a whole human-being whom not that different than a man. Hence, we can claim our wholeness and our uniqueness in order to be come the full version of ourselves as human being. That and only in that way, we can accomplish what’s meant for us.
When we put our intention to be the full-version of ourselves as human-being, the fact that we were born as a woman will have less and less impact to the way we navigate towards life. Here’s one example, when a woman know that what she loves is traveling and invest to herself knowledge that required to make her travelling journey be part of her life to become her career. What if she lives in a culture that think women should stay at home and mine the kitchen and care for the babies. It sound like no problem for us who don’t live and that culture but we know that peer pressure is hard. Family expectation is hard. And culture shape the behavior of people around it.
Do you see my point here? That woman who’s forced to live the life that doesn’t meant or resonate with what she wants could end up miserable. Miserable people would put nothing to the environment, nor her forced marriage, hence she wouldn’t live her life as a wife and as mom fully. Like domino effect, that would cause to another pain for others, including the one who insists her. Her family. Again, even though we’re not living that kind of image of life, we should be open that there is that kind of situation. That’s why we need to speak up, so there’s no story like that lived by others.
Everyone might start her life differently to the others. Not everyone wants the same thing. So we shouldn’t generalized rules that might be fit for one person for everyone. So, we shouldn’t romanticize the idea of being a “Good-Girl” to every living woman. But we need to encourage everyone to claim their own true life, the life that’s meant for them.
~D~
