The Quest

#1 — Doing our job and let go the rest, do other things

Kara woke up this morning for the third time after several shocked wake-up before 4 am at dawn. The first shocked made her to decide that she needed to pray, she’s not usually like this but she’s been through a lot — so she’s trying a new thing. Praying for her, particularly in a quite moment like that give her a sense of serenity — it’s beautiful! She’s nothing like someone who’s obsessed to religion, however, after hitting a very tick wall and got no net to catch her from falling, she got nothing but trying to hand over all of those that circulate in her head to the mighty creator.

The second woke-up was the one with because the noise. Kara lives in a housing that locates her in between an old couple who fights all the time. Her room was just separated by a thin wall that makes it very clear to her to listen everything in the next house. And it was around half past five, she should be awoke by then but the noise made her want to hide under the blanket and wait till it’s gone. At last she woke really late at 8:30 and it made her a little bit quirky and grumpy. Right after she opened her eyes, she straight into the thought about how ruined her life is. She doesn’t want to dwell with it, so she she won’t — she just light her cigar.

“I can’t even think about future, if I have no clarity about my present life”

“Okay, I put myself into trouble, so I’ll put myself back in the field”

She mumbled quietly, hoping no body hears it. From 9 am to past lunch-time, Kara just immersed herself surfing to the opening job that would put her back into the map of a working class. She’s been living by her very modest saving currently. It’s only just enough to pay the bills, feed her own mouth and gave some to her parents. Her head was so full that couldn’t think or even almost numb, hence the nicotine was giving enough kick to the top of her head.

I can’t afford more misery, so please just one thing, one good thing that make me feel a little bit relieve. She’s updating her resume and pressing send abruptly, she could damaged her screens. It’s a long story how she ended up here, messy and smoked-stink. She was pursuing a fellowship, a sacred fellowship that made her nuts like this. The one that she hasn’t known yet was, this path is actually would bring her closer to what she wants — her true life. It’s just now like what she imagined. But for now, let us see her crawling to her life just a little bit better by doing the job.

Finishing to apply for about ten jobs gave her a little bit of satisfaction, not much just a snack size of contentment. I made it, I did what I can do for now. Right after that, her thought gave her a little extra.

But it’s not enough! See, they haven’t responded yet! What now!

You’re going to Die without a penny, you know!

That voice was lured her to take another cigar, luckily she still has a few of sanity left — No! I did my part, now it’s up to you — she looked up to the sky that cover her beautifully in her seat in a balcony. The truth is, she still has worry that the voice her head would be true, but there’s nothing she could do at that moment. She knew her life was in a mess, she knew she’s been a little stupid and what she could actually was her part and that was already done. So, she made the right choice and do the right thing today. She got up and while lifting herself up to continue her life, she whispered a little prayer.

Please guide me to do the next right thing! and off she goes, take a shower and start working on her fellowship again. And that’s how many things will happen to her and what already happened is actually rooted from this fellowship.