Blank
I wish I could write about something. But my mind is blank. It is like there is a huge rock that ceases the flow. But my life is on a rollercoaster. My best friend, to whom I used to tell everything, my personal diary, is now at a distance to me. He was my sanity and support. But now, even though living with him, he is unreachable to me. Whenever I see him, my eyes used to smile. But now, it refuses to look at him. His voice was my happy pill, which now turned out to be my scary music. His presence used to be the tranquilizer I craved for, that now gives me the blood pressure. Whenever I think of him, my cheeks used to blush. Yes, even after all these seven years. But now, my heart aches and my head throbs. The tightening in my chest gets worse day by day. Now my hands and back also follow the steps of heart and started their protest. His smile was enough to seduce me, but not even his hugs take me to that level nowadays. Itâs like I am just going with the flow these days, exhausted to fight it, fight for the love and recognition I deserve. There are a lot of people around me, still I feel I am all alone. Yes, I was alone, long back. I would just build a wall around me or lurk at night, cocooning in my sanctuary. However, one day the butterfly came out bright , joyful and free. It flew all the way it could. Happily. It also received two bundles of joy from god to love and care.
Now, itâs time to build the wall again. The heart is paining. The thoughts are railing. Breath becomes heavy. Eyes are getting wet. All I see is dark, around me. Only the ray of hope is two little faces I acquired in these years. Only because of them, I breathe. Because, I know in my heart, no one can replace a Mother. Still, I am dead in my own skin.
And they say, this is depression.
