The New Years Party Tradition Kills
Preserving the lives of our people is the ultimate new years resolution.
Holy cow. Not only did we get a “time to renew your lease" letter reminding us we’ve been locked in our “new apartment” 90% of the time for nearly a year — its time to celebrate the end of 2020. Ah, a year when time was truly rendered meaningless. After a bizarre and frankly horrific year that likely left most of us awake most nights one wonders: Why stay up until midnight to welcome 2021? What is it about tradition that continues to tempt us into a dangerous environment?
After my first article on traditions, I recall brainstorming this ongoing discussion about how they are upheld and celebrated during a global pandemic. I suppose I kind of “cheated" by asking my Facebook friends what specific yearly traditions they felt Covid had an impact on. What was surprising (not really) were vague but numerous mentions of gathering with friends and family; either as part of holiday plans or “randomly.” Only one person got specific as they lamented the thought of hearing the song “I’ll be home for Christmas.” Someone mentioned a cancelled Renaissance fair with the included comment of not seeing their “framily" (FYI: friends+family=framily.)
I didn’t mean to underestimate the expressed need people have to simply socialize. I was, however, taken aback by how specific activities were not really listed out (ex. “making cookies,” “watching Die Hard", etc.). The ultimate goal of tradition typically defaults to our want for togetherness, of course. It’s why I have not yet created the conventional “top ten traditions that need to end" list. My writing journey aims to understand what the true nature of tradition means for us as individuals and as a society, post Covid. The tradition of togetherness umbrellas specific traditional acts like eating black eyed peas. (My husband: “I don’t really like them, but I bought a can!”)
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2020 felt like watching a forest fire in America. From last February onward we all pushed through (both pro and anti maskers) trying to cling onto everyday normalities. More often than expected Covid took a lot of those things away from us. Other times it forced us to adjust to uncomfortable measures in order to carry out day to day activities. We expected some parts of society’s “forest” to burn in the name of public health, but as our eyes focused on one fire behind us other fires burned. (Yikes, including actual forest fires I didn’t mean to forget.) Looking back, it is still shocking to consider what we ALL missed out on this year of near constant, unprecedented interruptions. Meanwhile, the woods are still smoldering.
2020 was the year I felt genuinely bipolar. I acknowledge being simultaneously surprised and not surprised at how people missed the basic “tradition” of seeing people this year. I guess I didn’t consider sharing physical space to be a tradition as much as a part of life we clearly took for granted. Often I hear the phrase “humans are very social creatures.” Yet with a virus that has now taken the lives of 1.81 million people worldwide, this year I was shocked to find humans (ahem, looking mostly at Americans) could be so lethally social during a global pandemic. So stubbornly committed to upholding traditions in person, that they are literally willing to give their life — as well as risk the lives of those they care about.
The yearning to share physical space and embrace our loved ones is understandable, natural. The allure of traditional activities is ultimately having another excuse to gather for (hopefully) quality time together. Even years after we grow up and leave the comforts of our childhood homes we are expected to answer the calls for reunion. Sometimes in the past we have treated it like a chore; other times it has felt as necessary as breathing. I also regret the metaphor given the reality that Covid literally takes our breath away. But it is when tradition blinds us to our reality that they are at their most dangerous.
(You guys, those “skip Thanksgiving so you can celebrate more in the future" had a point. It still boggles the mind that preserving the health of our own species couldn’t top the taste of grandma’s apple pie.)
Some holidays/traditions feel aimed towards socializing with friends more so than family which I believe includes New Years Eve.** I do not feel alone in claiming this “holiday” tradition as an arbitrary event. Why stay up late partying to then be groggy (or hung over) that first day of a new year? Its a day when we’re expected to begin resolutions for self improvement. (Another tradition?) The purpose of the parties we throw on NYE are to simply “witness” the calendar rolling into a new year. Like we haven’t been eyeing that clock on the wall or the calendar like psychopaths in 2020 — often in disbelief or confusion.
In the past, there has been an odd prejudice against those who choose to go to bed early on NYE or not attend a party. Those are the people “missing out.” That kind of peer pressure feels extra weak after surviving 2020. After hearing the repeated excuse that you “gotta live your life" by exploring a world riddled with disease, some of us have grown to handle FOMO as just part of surviving Covid.
During the Fall and Winter people reportedly grew lax about social distancing because of Covid fatigue. But the very thing we want (being close to one another) continues to be the very thing killing us. This reality has been expressed as much as the “gotta life my life” cliché. It feels excruciatingly ironic how some of our fellow citizens seem to also be killing the very traditions they insist on upholding.
My writings on tradition are not to simply claim the act of having traditions/reasons to gather is bad because that is not the case. (Reasons do not justify gathering right now, just to be clear) After witnessing a flood of stories about those suffering from Covid, moments that allowed our brains to reflect on familiar preCovid lifestyles were very precious. Thanks to carefully creative people in my community, our daughter still got to see Santa in a personalized video. (A potential tradition? I hope so.)
Traditions that foster safe respite in a time of crisis are truly what we need to foster hope for 2021 and beyond. I wholeheartedly believe in the inevitably of people gathering in the future. Without having to calculate quarantine time or asking for proof that someone got both vaccines. This new years, however? No one really “misses out" if they are avoiding another chance to catch/spread Covid. If you are someone who chose to hit the hay before the clock struck midnight, I am sure you are not surprised to find 2021 was still there for ya when you woke up. No one really “misses out" when we remember that the reason for tradition is people and preserving the lives of our people is the ultimate new years resolution.
*They called it Coron-insomnia
**Although, some relatives I have in my extended family are also fun “drinkin’ buddies”, lol
