Submissions to the Gnarly Tree
Welcome Unwary Writer
The Gnarly Tree has one goal, perhaps two, OK maybe three, but at least one: To offer a slightly skewed perspective with a sense of humor whenever possible.
As you can probably guess, we can use some help. Writer’s block, life-emergencies and various shiny objects all conspire to reduce our output.
If you would like to help by submitting an article or cartoon, you can get started by sending an email to: thegnarlytree.medium@gmail.com and do remember to look over all of these really critical bullet points.
• DO NOT email us your completed work.
• DO NOT send us attachments. We won’t open them. Tempted? Of course, but, seriously, we won’t open them.
• DO place the word “Submission:” in the subject line of your email.
• DO provide us with the link to your unpublished Medium draft.·
Your story must — appropriately — carry at least one of the following tags: Humor, Opinion, Commentary, Fiction, and Travel. We suggest that you always use the maximum number of tags available to you.
• All submissions must come through a Medium account. Please don’t think of it us as being difficult; we prefer that you think of it us as being lazy.
About That Submission
• Currently our response time is damn fast, but please don’t hold us to it. We don’t usually work on weekends or Thursdays. We will post any significant changes on this subject right here.
• Primarily we want humorous works. While we don’t have too many rules, Medium has a few. You will need to adhere to those. All categories will be considered but overall we’re trying to keep it light.
• We are looking for articles that are between 100 and 1,000 words. Anything exceeding 1,000 words has to be really special.
• We welcome all topics. Nothing is off the table until we see something and decide, “Yeah, that’s off the table.” Should that be the case we’ll be sure to wish you better luck elsewhere.
• Fake news is not what we do. Politics is not taboo, in fact Commentary/Opinion is one of our categories, but articles should have a humorous slant. We welcome Trevor Noah-like commentary. What we are not looking for is Bob Woodward serious-as-sin reporting.
• Cartoon submissions are welcome.
• Few, if any, Medium publications pay their contributors. From us you’ll get appreciation. However, you may be able to get actual real money by signing up for the Medium Partner’s Program. It’s free as of this writing, but don’t spend any money just yet. Check out this video, Income Reveal for a feel for potential with just a dash of reality.
• Speaking of money; we do not want articles telling readers how to get rich. If you want to tell us how to get rich we might listen, unless it requires us to buy something, sign something or sit through a presentation.
• Click-bait is not welcome. It is almost always annoying. If we’re annoyed the article is rejected.
General Tips
- All articles will be published, or not, as submitted. So, please submit the best version of your work. Follow Medium guidelines when creating your article.
◘ Nothing is more important than a good title.
◘ Nothing is more important than a good sub-title.
◘ Nothing is more important than good graphics. Medium provides good guidance regarding the do’s and don’ts of graphics. (Nobody gives good guidance on the do’s and don’ts of “dos and don’ts”. For now we’ll be sticking with our first choice. In the future we’ll try to avoid this altogether.)
◘ All rules are good rules, especially if they come from the owners. To quell any doubts or answer any questions about what is or is not allowed please visit, Medium Rules, and here Ad-Free Medium, and here Medium Content Guidelines.
Mission Statement
We read someplace that a mission statement is very important, so here goes:
The Gnarly Tree strives to be a publication in the manner of the greats such as The New Yorker (when it’s not too obtuse), a little bit of Mad Magazine, The Atlantic (for when we’re feeling significant) , classic National Lampoon and The Smithsonian (for when we want to give the impression that we are well read).
