Love is a Four-Letter Word

Love is hard to codify into a single definition. It encompasses such a range of relationships with no clear delineations. I think that is why it can be difficult to discuss in any academic context. People thrive on categorization and academia is very focused on exact definitions. Looking at hook’s exploration of how people working from different definitions of love harms their relationships and how people understand love was fascinating. I had not realized how pervasive this misunderstanding can be.

One note that particularly resonated with me has to do with how we conceptualize love: “The word ‘love’ is most often defined as a noun, yet all the more astute theorists of love acknowledge that we would all love better if we used it as a verb” (hook 4). I like the idea of love as a verb. A few years ago I came to the conclusion that love was a choice; not an easy choice or an immediate one, but a choice that people must make and commit to. Love is a verb for me because it is an active process. It may come naturally, but it still is something that I choose to pursue and put effort into.

When we talked about authenticity, we mentioned how people are influenced by others in their lives. I believe our understanding of love is one of the things that is most influenced by the people in our lives until we decide to redefine our assumptions. Love is more than just romance and it affects how we approach new people and how we make connections. If we were able to unify our definition of love, there would be a lot less friction in our relationships.