The Call is Coming from Inside the House

Callings fascinate me. I have felt what I might call a calling to many things, but there is always an element of uncertainty in it for me. Is this right? Should I be doing this? Why am I compelled to do this? “Callings are a strange thing” in so many ways (Harding 402). Harding felt called by his peers and the societal need for change. He returns to this idea of an external calling pulling him to the next place, the next job, the next passion. Perhaps my conflict comes from the fact that every “calling” I have identified was internal. It is not that I have never been guided, subtly or not, towards a goal or aim by an outside force. It is that I do not consider that a “calling.” This is probably just a matter of definition. I am rather specific about following the guidelines I set for myself, and quite stubborn about them too.

A calling, as I have experienced and understood it, is what you find yourself fulfilled by, passionate about, or willing to fight for. You cannot always place their exact origins or reasons, but they are all internal matters. I have been called to my writing since I was still in the single digits. I could not tell you why it started. However, I can say with absolute certainty that this drive is entirely my own. Talking to others I have found people who share my experience of internal callings and people who have only experienced external callings. I do not believe one is more valid or valuable than the other, but they are different, and I like to investigate how that difference affects us.