the choice: love

All About love by bell hooks captures the essence of what love is and how to obtain it. bell states that “love and abuse cannot coexist (pg 6).” This is such a simple concept, yet most people often forget. Abuse can become so normalized within enclosed walls, that when the abuser uses “love” to validate their actions they are often forgiven. I completely believe there is no room for love in the relationship of a person who abuses and their victim. The abused will find trouble in trusting and thus the relationship is bound to fail. bell also states, “to begin by always thinking of love as an action rather than a feeling (pg 13)” bell acknowledges the notion that love is a choice. I completely agree that it is true. Recently, I was introduced to the show Love is Blind. This show tries to prove that you can find love without visibly seeing each other. However, after watching the show, I began to notice that even if the couple believed to be in love during the blind dating period, they would still call off the wedding if they did not find their partner attractive. This was very interesting to me because if the premise of this show was accurate, attraction should not matter. As bell said, love is a choice. However, I believe that our human nature does not allow us to fully fall in love unless we find the person attractive. This is shown in best-friend relationships between a boy and a girl. They may be completely compatible in everything else, but one small thing can completely obliterate the relationship.