Trees

Turns out lying on the grass under the trees is a good place for crying…

Turns out you can spend a lot of time doing nothing and just contemplating the nature around when it’s too difficult and scary to look inside…

I saw a lot of interesting things today. I saw clouds passing by, birds cleaning their feathers, spider eating a fly. I saw grass grow. flowers turning their heads towards the sun, I saw a tree brunch fall and a swarm rise. I saw a magpie. A magpie saw me…

I felt a lot today. I felt pain with all of my heart, desperation with all of my mind. I felt grass with the soils of my feet and cold of the soil under me as I was lying there. I felt emptiness with my soul. And I faded away into intensity of these feelings. I’ve let myself to be overwhelmed by pain, desperation, be sunk into emptiness. Tears were running down my face. But it was ok…

It was ok that saw me, the flies and the birds, the trees and the grass. Trees hid me in their shadows and covered my sobs with whispers of their leaves. They were whispering: “sh-sh-sh, sh-sh-sh”. It almost felt like they were trying to calm me down. And I faded away into their calmness.

I became a lot today. I became grass, I became a tree, the sky and a cloud. I became them, it was too difficult to be me… I became wind. The wind became stronger.

I wish I could say they took my pain away. But it’s a true story. And in true stories “10 steps for instant pain transformation into eternal happiness” doesn’t happen. Pain staid. I just fell asleep. First time in many days. Magpie was still guarding me.

Turns out it’s good to cry under the trees… they understand.