How to Get Past Small Talk
And Initiate Deep Conversation
3 Social Needs
Five Levels of Sharing
- Introductions (questions everybody asks everybody)
- Sharing information and facts
- Sharing ideas and opinions
- Sharing feelings
- Sharing without being asked
Note: As the level of sharing increases, the risk and fear of rejection increase. As leaders, our job is to build a culture of trust and encouragement to make the risk worth it.
Opportunities For Sharing In Core Group
- Testimony sharing
- Icebreaker games and questions (i.e. highs and lows)
- During the study
- Hangout time before and after
How can we be intentional during these times to grow the group into true brotherhood/sisterhood?
Three Types of Questions
Personal
What is your ideal vacation?
What was the most memorable thing you did with your family when you were a child?
What quality do you most appreciate in a friend?
Spiritual But Not Personal
How do you define sin?
In your opinion, what is a Christian?
What is the purpose of life?
Spiritual and Personal (Goal)
Have you ever had a personal encounter with God? When? What happened?
In what area of your spiritual walk would you most like to grow?
What is something that God has been teaching you recently?
Do not get stuck discussing spiritual (but not personal) questions. These discussions rarely reach the heart or change people. They can be great ice-breaker questions, but we want to focus on “spiritual and personal” questions. That is where God engages the heart and begins to work.
Ice-Breakers
Using ice-breakers is a basic, yet essential, skill. Icebreaker games and questions are designed to create discussion about members’ personal lives and to help them open up.
Sample Ice-Breaker Questions
If you suddenly lost your eyesight, what would be the thing you missed seeing the most?
My favorite way to waste time is ____________________.
Who is the most famous person you’ve known or met? How did it happen?
What is your biggest fear?
What’s the worst storm or disaster you’ve ever been in? What was it like?
What day of your life would you most like to relive? Why?
What has been one of the greatest adventures you have ever been on?
If your house was on fire, what three items (not people) would you try to save?
Talk about a powerful “God moment” in your life and how it has impacted you.
