The Dark Side of Porn
The Hidden Victim [For Freedom — Porn Resource Pt.1]
Note: This series was originally written as a group resource to be read and discussed over a period of several weeks. If you’re reading this alone, I pray that it helps you, but I encourage you to go through it with someone.
What Is Porn?
Is all nudity porn? Is the Statue of David porn? Porn can be hard to define, but as Justice Potter Stewart once famously said, “I know it when I see it.”
The English word “porn” comes from the Greek word porneia, which is often translated as sexual immorality. This is not limited to adultery (sex outside of marriage). Porneia is anything you do, look at, or imagine for sexual arousal outside of marriage. If you’re unsure if something is porn, it’s porn. Porn is all over the Internet and social media — not just porn sites.
“But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality” (Ephesians 5:3 NIV)
Porn in the World Today
“If you want to know if you can trust a man, ask him if he’s watched porn. If he says no, you can’t trust him.” — Unknown
Statistics
- In the U.S., 85% of men and 50% of women watch porn at least once per month.
- 93% of boys and 62% of girls were exposed to porn before age 18.
- 51% of boys and 32% of girls were exposed to porn before age 13.
- 35% of all Internet downloads are related to porn.
- 13% of all Internet searches are related to porn — the most popular category: youth.
- 20% of porn online is of children.
- 50% of porn online is of teenagers under age 18.
- Teens and young adults aged 13–24 believe not recycling (56%) is worse than viewing pornography (32%).
The Affect of Porn on Relationships and Marriage
Consuming porn is associated with the following:
- Increased marital distress, and risk of separation and divorce.
- Decreased marital intimacy and sexual satisfaction.
- Infidelity.
- Increased appetite for more graphic types of pornography and sexual activity associated with abusive, illegal, or unsafe practices.
- Devaluation of monogamy, marriage, and child-rearing.
- An increasing number of people struggling with compulsive and addictive sexual behavior.
- According to a survey of 350 divorce attorneys, porn consumption played a significant role in about 60% of divorces.
- 58% of men say they view porn once a week or more, and the more frequently they view it, the more they are likely to say they are less satisfied with sex and relationships.
So Porn Isn’t Good For Me, But I’m Not Hurting Anyone. What’s the Big Deal?
The world will try to tell you that watching porn doesn’t hurt anyone — except maybe yourself. The men and women in the videos get paid to have sex. It’s their choice. If you don’t like it, don’t watch it.
What they don’t tell you is that professional porn actors rely on drugs just to get through the day and are laden with STDs. That’s the “bright side.” That’s the people who have a “choice.” I use the word “choice” lightly here because it’s no coincidence that the porn capital of the world is next to Hollywood. Many, if not most, porn “actors” were preyed upon after having failed in Hollywood. They were taken advantage of while in a vulnerable state.
If that’s the “bright side,” what’s the dark side?
Porn and Sex Trafficking
The dark side of porn is that it fuels sex trafficking, the 2nd largest and fastest-growing industry in the world.
Sex trafficking is a $100+ billion industry, and porn is at the center. Viewers of pornography create the demand for sex trafficking, while sex trafficking provides the supply for pornography.
Porn is not harmless. It will destroy your capacity for relationship and intimacy, but even so, you’re not the primary victim. The real victims are the people (men, women, and children) on screen. By watching porn, you are fueling sex trafficking, including that of children.
I share that not to shame you, but rather to help you see the true cost of your porn addiction. Porn is not innocent. It’s not victimless. Porn is evil. Perhaps, that’s the inspiration you need to help you quit.
Quit porn. End sex trafficking.
What About Masturbation?
“But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:28 NIV).
The Bible does not address masturbation, but it’s clear about lust. Looking at or thinking about others lustfully (for sexual arousal) is adultery. Can you masturbate without fantasizing? If you’re struggling with porn, that’s highly unlikely.
What if you’re married and you think about your spouse? The Bible is clear that your body belongs to your spouse. By masturbating, are you seeking to fulfill your sexual appetite apart from them? Are you still able to give yourself fully to your spouse with the same passion, frequency, and desire?
“The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife” (1 Corinthians 7:4 NIV).
Some believe that masturbation can be done infrequently as a physical release, like a safety release valve, but even so, would it be wise?
Remember, we’re called to a higher standard as followers of Jesus (avoid even a hint of sexual immorality). Thus, it would be most wise to avoid masturbation, for it is a slippery slope.
Exercise // A Song
Take 15 minutes with Jesus to reflect on the words of the following song:
Song: “Pornography Will Murder You” by Curt Vernon
Pornography will murder you and then it’ll go and marry your wife.
It will convince her that it’s you and it’ll sleep with her ‘most every night.
Pornography’s a prostitute and yet you let it father your children.
Satan told you it’s a secret, yet it’s openly molesting your everything.
Your friends, your soul, your personality,
Your wife, your kids, and your eternity.
You’ve sold your own self into slavery.
We’ve sold our own selves into slavery.
I’d love to say we’re all just fine, cause we’re forgiven,
God sits and smiles as we rape women, on our computer screens,
But I’m afraid it’s not the case, ’cause heaven’s gates just aren’t a place
For those of us who aren’t repentant.
So come and mourn, let’s grieve our sin like we’re in labor,
‘Till We’re convinced without a Savior, we’re the Devil’s sons.
Still don’t seem right that heaven died — got crucified —
To make our scarlet letters white, and give us life.
