Quinoa Against Humanity

Nothing says “productive workforce” like unwanted alternatives.

“Image generated using OpenAI’s DALL·E.”

As you may suspect by now, I’m a confirmed remote worker.

I am that someone who attends an office very occasionally, only on request, only when it’s absolutely necessary that I be in person, and of course only when I didn’t move quick enough to book some annual leave when HR insists on some dire “learn how to pick up a box (mandatory office attendance)” meeting¹.

And, if you’re wondering how this came about, I’d like to say it was by a careful focus on niches that don’t require co-operation with other people, by ruthlessly pursuing stratagems in the Grand Game that require little to no management contact, and, to be completely honest, carefully preserving an outer shell of prickly, yet delicate, misanthropy.

That said, on the rare occasion that I do darken an office door, I still always marvel at the fact that people still work in these run down, dilapidated, stifling, noisy, often carpeted³, cheap looking, and very onerous establishments.

It’s incredible that the most dehumanising and unhappy places can be considered conducive to productive work, which probably goes some way to explaining why so many managers seem to love office work whilst the worker cogs, like you and me, do not. Speaks volumes, really, but let’s not digress too much…