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The Grand Game of Software Engineering

Stories, often even humor, from the dark side of corporate culture.

Sowing The Seeds Of Beyond Expectations!

6 min readNov 1, 2023

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Best practices for acing next year’s performance review through making yourself suitably hard to miss in the modern corporate dystopia.

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“Image generated using OpenAI’s DALL·E.”

Just what is the most stressful and disliked time of the year for the majority of permanently employed progressive software engineers in the Grand Game?

It’s not the first release of the MVP (always a disaster, designed by management committee, lacking not just features but basic functionality), nor even the company Christmas party (a couple of free drinks in a local pub, a “choice” from one menu item, or even the inevitability of having to find your way home on your own dime… it’s the laughably named performance review process.

Why are we talking about this now, you may well ask, as we enter monsoon season here on the Atlantic coast and the days are rapidly growing shorter as I type?

Well, for the very good reason that now is the time of year that the truly progressive engineer has to begin their preparations and ultimately comedic rehearsals for next year’s charade of pure nonsense based exhibitionism.

For, a we all well know, performance reviews aren’t based on the knowledge, experience, or even continued application of skill of the innocent engineers involved— they’re purely a presenteeism based list of boxes to be ticked enveloped in a…

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The Grand Game of Software Engineering
The Grand Game of Software Engineering

Published in The Grand Game of Software Engineering

Stories, often even humor, from the dark side of corporate culture.

Dr Stuart Woolley
Dr Stuart Woolley

Written by Dr Stuart Woolley

Worries about the future. Way too involved with software. Likes coffee, maths, and . Would prefer to be in academia. SpaceX, X, and Overwatch fan.

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