Welcome to the Graveyard
This is free stuff, unwanted by most.
It is from a nearby area. Do not contact us with unsolicited services or offers. Good for scrap metal.
Good condition but doesn’t work. The interior bulb is dead. Needs a little work. If you do not take we are just going to leave in the parking lot. A dog might get it. Good for starting fires.
Not the commercial model. Must be picked up tonight. My granddaughter added stickers and some artwork. Now it’s just taking up space.
Rules of Reuse
First-come, first gets it. Serve yourself. Bring your own transportation. Must be able to load yourself. Haul yourself. I can help you load but I am very small man so I lift only a little load. I do have a dolly. Here it is, behind more stuff you can possibly take.
Some of these found in the free bin and they were sort of ugly and smelled somewhat like foot. But wear them, share them. The alternative is being naked.
If you use any of these for your own sick purposes, tell us about it so we can tell everyone what a sicko you are. Especially the craigslist police if that is a thing. Tell us about it — the means to do so are below.
Resurrections
Did you steal something from our graveyard? A name? A handful of moldy flowers? Did you resurrect the flesh of our graveyard?
Did you poke at something in our graveyard with pointy stick and then touch the pointy stick to your friend’s back and now your friend is walking around at work and at the gym with smelly graveyard doo-doo on his sweater back?
If you resurrected from our graveyard, and now that once-decaying fragment is walking around fleshy-like in your house, please drop us a line to brag of your skills in necromancy.
The Caretakers
Cloud Candy lives with and cares for his four grandparents, like Charlie Bucket. On Mondays, they pile into a van and go grocery shopping. On Tuesdays, they walk around the park seven to ten times for exercise. On Wednesdays, they play euchre in the backyard and count bluejays. On Thursdays, they eat at a restaurant from a list of four restaurants in the area that offer a senior discount. On Fridays, they complain and nag. On Saturdays, they force Cloud Candy to go on a date and then make him re-enact the entire date as a one-man play in the living room. On Sundays, they go to church because one of them started going a long time ago but no one remembers which one of them.
Eddie the Goat Herder owns two restaurants, one serving fresh, organic food and the other serving the leftovers from the first restaurant. His favorite ingredients are clams, bitter melon, fish sauce, and thinly shaved Iberico ham. His least favorites are celery, oyster crackers, truffles, and gelatin. Due to a childhood trauma, he does not allow knives at either location. The chefs have become proficient in the art of scissors. Every first Thursday, Eddie the Goat Herder hosts a speed dating night and participates in disguise. He has been engaged four times and expects a fifth soon. He attributes his success in love to his open heart, his open wallet, and his ability to keep an ironclad secret.
