Sober Holidays Don’t Have to Suck
The Secret to Making it Through
Do you want to know the secret to making it through the holidays without drinking? Are you ready for the answer? It will blow your mind. Fall Victim to….the….flu! That’s right! Get the flu, wish for death, and alcohol will be the last thing on your mind. The flu wiped away my urge to drink. It also caused me to sweat, freeze, and hallucinate. But next thing you know, I made it through Christmas and New Year sober as a mule. A disgusting, unshaven mule, but a mule nonetheless. Just kidding. It took much more than death to keep me from drinking.
The main reason for my sobriety is, This Naked Mind, by Annie Grace. Annie dissects alcohol and our false beliefs in this highly addictive drug. We believe it helps us relax, wipes away stress, and pairs elegantly with White Castle. Our belief is that we need Alcohol to have a good time. It’s a must for every bachelor party, sporting event, and spelling bee. It’s amazing how the book opened my eyes. I was blind and now I can see! Or maybe it was the flu that caused the blindness. Either way, I see alcohol for what it is. An addictive drug that has ruined my mind, body and libido. Actually, libido is still OK. Just ask my wife! BOOM!!!
Chilling on The Beach
My wife and I went to Florida without the kids for three nights. I didn’t get any ass, but I was able to enjoy a day in the sun. We spent it at the beach and my beer-senses were on high alert. People were drinking everywhere, and probably still are. Every time I heard a can crack open, it was a beer. I wasn’t craving one as much as I was shocked by how many people were drinking. Which explained all the “Bodies by Budweiser” running around. It was nice not being a drunk mess on the beach. I didn’t have to spend money on beers, pee every five minutes, or try to act sober in front of my wife while slurring and grabbing her butt. I’m used to alcohol adding stress to what should be a relaxing time. Alcohol has always been at the forefront; a very important piece of my life.
Say it Ain’t so, Alcohol
Thanks to This Naked Mind, I am questioning alcohol’s role in my life. Looking back, it hasn’t done much for me, but it sure has taken a lot. I have been asking myself, “Why can’t I drink like a normal person?” “Why can’t I control my drinking?” “Why is this such a battle for me?” “I should be happy and enjoying life!” Now I realize, I shouldn’t blame myself, feel powerless, weak, or ashamed. Alcohol hooks many people because it’s really fucking addictive. Flat out, end of sentence. There’s a reason why it kills so many. Again….It’s really fucking addictive!!!!
Alcohol gets a free pass. While we fight the war on opioids, marijuana, and meth, alcohol cruises by unscathed with more and more ad dollars being spent. No wonder why we bring it everywhere we go. For most of us, Alcohol has been a huge part of our lives. Our parents drank, alcohol was/is at every party, and microbreweries are turning our alcoholism into a hobby (Stole that from Jimmy Fallon, “Thank You Notes”). We have been preconditioned to believe we need it to enjoy ourselves. That part for me will take a long time to work out. I have always enjoyed alcohol with everything besides brushing my teeth. Every social event will be a new adventure, but I am ready for the challenge. As for spreading the word, I’m not sure how involved I will get.
Action Plan
I’m not as “gung-ho” as Annie Grace, at least, not yet. She is leading the crusade against alcohol and I thank her for it. I’m not sure I would have made it through our trip to “Margaritaville” without her. I have an incredible amount to learn, but I can use it to change my mindset, commit to sobriety, and help others. I have taken life-changing strides thus far.
The funny thing is, I’m all for alcohol being consumed, just not by me. Because I know what will happen if I do. I’ll end up filming clown porn in a trailer park. And no one wants that. Except maybe the clown porn industry….
