Angle of Repose
The slipping death of inevitable doom
If you are interested in the Horror genre and you have exhausted your supply of movies, novels, and comic books, I have a suggestion for you. Reach for the nearest field guide on insects, randomly select any page in the book and pick the first critter that grabs your eye (not literally grabs your eye… although that would be horror). Then research that bug. The class Insecta is a veritable treasure trove of the macabre. Virtually every bug has a life story that will make even the most resolute shudder with discomfort.
The subject of this piece is a little monster named Myrmeleon and it has plenty of traits that will trigger the horror response. The more subtle of these traits just might be the scariest but you will have to read on to find out.
Pick a language and the name of this bug will impress. In Mandarin, he is the Backward moving bull. In Malay, he is the Pit elephant. In Japanese, he is the Ari-Jogoku, the feeling of one who has fallen into inevitable doom and must languish while waiting disaster. Extraordinary! The most common names in english are Ant Lion and Doodle bug.
Doodle bug is about the least terrifying name I can think of. So don’t let the artistic little doodle paths in the sand this predator leaves while seeking out a spot for a death trap lull you into thinking its not a monster.
The Ant Lion lives its life in two main stages. The first is the lion. This subterranean demon seeks out soft sandy soils where ants are known to tread. It then reverses into the soft sand, using its legs to plow the sand forward and onto its shovel-like head. Next, it flicks hits head to spray sand into the air. As it continues to catapult sand it rotates in a circle. Gradually a pit develops. Using the randomness of the sand grains and the immutable force of gravity, the sand showers down in a circle, settling into a cone. The cones sandy edges form a steep slope. Every grain is interlocked in a fragile tense relationship that is constantly on the verge of shattering into a landslide. This tenuous point of equilibrium is known as the angle of repose. Any kid who as ever climbed a dirt pile knows how tenuous this equilibrium is.
As the Ant Lion settles in, it buries itself right up to its open jaws. Those huge bull-horn-esque choppers are wide. It waits. This invisible death trap has hollow prongs on its jaws that act as syringes. They can both inject an intestine dissolving venom and suck said innards back in for quick digestion. Along comes and and unsuspecting ant, doesn't noticed the slippery slope ahead and finds itself rapidly sliding down hill. Panicking, the ant starts tread-milling in the slurry of slipping sand and slowly slides down to the gaping maw that awaits. The Ant Lion strikes. Bull-horn like jaws slam shut like a bear trap. Glistening venom-dripping spikes blast through the exoskeleton. The ant struggles and writhes as the deadly venom is injected. Internal organs dissolve and the slurry is suctioned out. Excretory organs, named malpighian tubules, process the slurry and the water is pumped out into the sand.
Marcello Malpighi was an Italian physician from the 1600's known for naming various urinary tract systems in animals. He started out as an Aristotelian philosopher who believed in learning through experimentation. Apparently in the 1600, the overwhelming majority of physicians felt that everything medically relevant had been discovered and outlined by Galen and that there was no point investigating other options. Malpighi, though, was an adept debater. He authored an exhaustive dialogue against the Galenist way of thinking and was just about to drop his philosophical bombshell on European world when his house burned down. The manuscript was lost. Weary with philosophical disputation (got tired of arguing with narrow minded numb skulls), Malpighi focused on his studies. Twenty years later, he was considered the worlds leading expert on insect digestive tract tubules, Malpighian tubules…. Oh yeah, and also he was the physician to Pope Innocent the XII.
Why the heck would I interrupt my riveting tale of carnivory to tell you about Malpighi? Well, it’s because these little tubules (real original Marcello) are particularly specialized in the Ant Lion. You see, after devouring a metric crap-load of dissolved ant innards, Mr. or Ms. Ant Lion eventually gets to a point where they are ready to mature. It is only then that the truly amazing aspect of the tubules becomes apparent. Almost miraculously the Ant Lion begins to excrete a silk-like cocoon from its malpighian tubules and envelopes itself. Its does this all without getting a single grain of sand on the inside of the tubule!
Anyone who has ever camped in a sandy environment can attest to how difficult it is to keep sand out of your tent. Imagine if your tent is constructed out of elmers glue….
Impressed yet? Here is the truly shocking part. I mentioned that this animal lives its life in two cycles. We just discussed the larval “lion” stage. The next stage is the adult stage. As in all insects that metamorphose, they develop new organs that they did not have in the larval stage. Maybe you’re thinking, “Oh this is where they must develop their wings!” If so, you’re half right. Pretty basic insect biology. BUT… this is also where they develop… wait for it… an anus!
Yes that’s right. This monster ant sucker is born and lives its entire larval stage without a way to get rid of its own solid waste. Only after completing metamorphosis and emerging as a winged adult can it actually move its bowels.
Really? Sheesh is there even any point in continuing the story? How do I follow that? yadda yadda, flys to high ground. blah blah looking for a mate… list of anecdotal rhetoric about the short lived frenzy to reproduce only to die without having fed…. Yeah connect those dots people. Born without out an anus. lives for months without said anus. Undergoes metamorphosis and finally uses said anus one time and never needs it again. No that’s horror.
