1 Resilient Daughter with 1 Toxic Mother
I’m dating a divorced woman with a child. My girl is slowly growing and learning to be self sufficient and independent. That sounds lovely until you here about her manipulative, bitter, self-centered, oppressive, verbally abusive, negatively harmful mother.
I’ve been with my girlfriend for almost a year and for the last six months that I’ve known her mother she continues to manipulate, abuse and tear down our relationship. She belittles and disrespects my girlfriends accomplishments and successes. She continuously proceeds to negatively question and doubt my career and finances after I financially participate and support her daughter and granddaughter.
Her deadbeat father refuses to hold himself accountable to his obligations and responsibilities as a father. I’ll get back to that deadbeat father situation in the next article because I’ll be busy roasting and venting about my girlfriends demented, maniacal, disparaging mother.
My girlfriend has tried every way that she knows to help, communicate and cooperate with her mother on a human level while living underneath her roof.
Although she doesn’t pay rent she maintains the home, cooking, cleaning, laundry, taking care of pets and work a job, also in school and raising a daughter. It almost sounds too good to be true having time in a day for all of those responsibilities and having her mother hold her to the highest unattainable standards.
I have to hear it from my girl every day about how her mother doesn’t approve of our relationship because she has a child and I suffer from alcoholism and drug addiction. I am coming up on 3 years clean continuously from everything while having a career and providing for my girlfriend and her daughter. To make sure you are still following we will call her mother Nini.
Nini has her mind made up about me and there is nothing that I can do to change that. She thinks that my participation and involvement in her granddaughters life is damaging and unrepairable. Its not just because I am in recovery but her granddaughter is 6 years old and doesn’t actually see her own father very much.
So from barely seeing a man that chooses not to be around and seeing me everyday doing what her father should be doing is what Nini thinks is psychologically damaging to the child.
I can’t force her father to be a dad but I can help give her granddaughter the best opportunity to be the best person she can be. When her granddaughter needs clothes, school supplies, money for after school programs, day care, food and shelter. I like and choose to help because her father chooses not to.
My girlfriend is also doing the best she can to help but she currently works as a teacher and doesn’t make much on a single income. I work for a software company making more and helping out where I can even if its not financially. My girlfriends daughter asks me to read her books before bed and eat Cheeto puffs together. She loves going to the park with me and her mom and indoor kids play places.
Nini feels its better that her granddaughter not grow up with a man her life at all because she doesn’t trust me or any man to be around. Not much time in our relationship has passed and to her I haven’t been sober and clean very long. She doesn’t believe we will make it and that my girl is just going through a phase with me.
This past Saturday we took the kid out to an indoor play place after the park and because my girl did not call Nini after not talking to her for 5 hours she threatened to call the cops and child services on us. She was clear that she doesn’t trust me and thinks I’m capable of the worst possible scenarios.
Nini persisted to send my girlfriend negative, disrespectful, hateful texts and that was the last straw.
This weekend my girl packed her things from Ninis place and is now in a hotel. She lives in LA and I work there but based in Las Vegas. We are going to work together to make this work. Just my girl, her daughter and me. Her other family members have turned their backs on her because she is involved with me and feel that Nini is right. Nini feels that I am too much of a risk to be around. I don’t want to make this article too much longer because I’m not sure I’ll keep the attention of the reader plus there is so much more for me to write and vent about in this publication.
Final Thoughts?
This entire situation really messed up my ability to write consistently since Friday. To be honest with you I’m really just writing to vent and breath. My girl and her daughter are set up in a hotel and I feel responsible because of who I am. I want to change my life and the people I care about. For me if I don’t make money on medium this place will still be refuge for me to speak on my issues and adversities.
