Non-negotiable Skill Introverts Must Learn to Succeed in Life
Introverts want to avoid people.
But since humans, extrovert or introvert, are social animals. Me, you and, every human wants to be accepted, recognised, loved, and respected by the society.
And for these to happen social skills are crucial. You must learn the rules of the world.
A life without social skills is a tough life. Unless you were born in royalty or as a billionaire’s son or daughter.
Because no matter how intelligent you are, or how skilled you are, others need to know about you and your skills. They won’t have a dream at night that “Joydeep is such a great writer. I should hire him immediately.”
Instead, you have to go out into the world and talk to others and sell yourself and your skills. That’s the way the world works, whether you like it or not.
Let’s understand this with an example.
You and your friend (Jim) studied engineering together. Both you and Jim have an overall score of 90%. Hard-working guys preparing to be great engineers.
But there is a difference between you two.
Jim thrives in social situations. When he walks into a room, he lights it up with his energy. Whereas you avoid the limelight in social situations, and you usually prefer the corner of a room.
Now, both you and Jim have a job interview.
During the interview, you convey your knowledge with 50% efficiency due to lack of social skills, but Jim is 95% efficient. He takes his time and confidently talks about his experiences in university projects and seminars, and makes the interviewer believe that he is the one. Thus, the interviewer perceives Jim to be a much better candidate and gives him the job, even though both you and Jim are brilliant students.
It is your lack of social skills that stopped you from getting the job.
Lack of social skills will limit your growth in all aspects of your life — from day-to-day to jobs to relationships.
Without social skills you can’t talk and convey your feelings like the way you want.
People won’t understand what’s in your heart unless you tell them. And since they can’t see the potential in you unless you express it and keep it in front of them, you sometimes lose opportunities to people even less skilled than you are.
With good social skills you learn to express what you feel. This opens up a lot of opportunities in jobs, business, and relationships. This helps you to leave your mark in the world and gain recognition and respect in the society.
But we are very smart. We convince (fool) ourselves to stay in our comfort zones and not take any actions to improve our lives.
How do people talk themselves out of solving their lack of social skills?
- “I’ll take action later because I need to read more books on social skills.”
- “I’ll automatically get out of my comfort zone. I just need a little more time.”
- “One day I will become charismatic, then I will go and talk to people.”
You need to be wary of your thoughts and what you say to yourself and not fall into the above traps.
You need to figure out what works for you and create a step-by-step solution to solve the problem.
“How-Tos” are mostly ineffective because they don’t consider the nuances we have in our lives and our personalities.
However, you can read about the simple trick how I overcame my social anxiety here.
Thank you for reading.
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Further readings on social skills: Online Social Skills Guide — Improve Your Social Skills
