A Femme’s Guide to Improvement: Arm Candy and Too Much Glitter

by L M

The first holiday party of the season already happened and I was totally unprepared because, you guys, it’s not even Thanksgiving yet. That’s no reason to not get totally festive, though, at least not in my book. (My book is one of those sticker ones for toddlers, with a lot of glitter and wordsearches, and an appendix of cocktail recipes.) If you’re not decked out in silk or velvet at least once a week throughout December (and part of November), you’re doing it wrong. Trouble is, if you’re a lady of limited resources, it can be hard to pull together enough festive outfits for every occasion on your social calendar, given that you’ll see the same twenty people over and over again and don’t want to look predictable. My solution: accessorize. Cheaply. Preferably in a glittery way. Here’s a star headband that costs about $3 to make, and some candy-cane inspired bracelets you can stack up on your arms for less than $10.

For the headband, you’ll need:

• A glitter foam sheet — I got mine at Michaels — most craft stores will have them.
• A yard of ribbon, color and width of your choice
• A needle and thread that matches the foam
• Scrap paper

Draw some stars of various sizes on your scrap paper and cut out the best ones. This might take you a while. Don’t let your perfectionist streak take over, or you’ll be here for an hour trying to draw the perfect star. Use these templates to trace stars on the back of the glitter foam, and cut them out. Last step: sew them to your ribbon, anchoring two star points with a couple stitches on each side. Don’t knot off the thread at each star, as it won’t provide quite enough support to keep the stars from flying off: sew from your first star through the last with the same length of thread. And no, lazybones, you can’t use glue — the stars will peel off the ribbon when you tie around the curve of your head. Tie it snugly around your head and secure it with a couple bobby pins.

Next, bracelets: My mom used to wrap plastic headbands in ribbon for me when I was a kid. Why? Who knows. But it was pretty, and it inspired these. (So did the candy canes I brought to school on my birthday every year.)

You’ll need:

• Red and white (or whatever color) grosgrain ribbon. Two yards of each will make at least three bangles.
• Some cheap plastic bangles or bracelets (kid’s department, what’s up)
• Glue of your choice (I used Shoe Goo, which is amazing to have around if you ever need to fix, um, shoes. A glue gun would work, too.)
• Clear nail polish

Cut a long piece each of the red and white ribbon, and put a dab of glue on one end of each. Stick them on the bracelet at an angle, letting them overlap one another a little.

Hold the glued end firmly in place and simply wrap the ribbons around the bracelet until it’s completely covered. Glue the loose end in place on the inside of the bracelet, where it won’t be seen, and trim the ends. Coat the ends with the clear polish to keep them from unraveling. Make a few more, stack them up on your arms, and go to a party! And eat real candy.

Previously: A Femme’s Guide to Improvement: Make a Blouse!

Lucia Martinez reads too many old poems and tries to be a lady.

Photos by Helen Pearson.