An Addendum to the Modern Meanings of Flowers: White and Yellow Roses

by Mary Dubbs

My first day working at the flower shop on campus as a grad student, a young woman came in. “May I help you?” I asked.

“Yes, I think I need flowers.”

“And what is the occasion?”

“I need to say, like, ‘Sorry, I threw up on you.’”

“Well,” checking my list of flower meanings and maintaining a professional poker face, “White roses mean ‘innocence,’ and yellow roses mean ‘friendship.’ How many do you think you’ll need?”

“Yeah… I need six.”

“Six?”

“One for everybody I threw up on.”

“Let me wrap those up for you.”

Previously: The Modern Meanings of Flowers and A Rebuttal to the Modern Meanings of Flowers.

Mary Dubbs did not get the graduate assistantship she applied for, and now spends several hours a week contemplating the lyrics of Poison’s greatest hit.

Photo by Loskutnikov, via Shutterstock