Home Economics for Socioeconomically Gifted City Kids

How to raise an artisanal child.

Alison Lowenstein
The Hairpin
3 min readJan 9, 2017

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Image: Evonne

The decisions you make are a choice of values that reflect your life in every way.

—Alice Waters

Course Syllabus Spring 2017 (eight-week educational enhancement)

Required Reading and Podcasts:

Edible Schoolyard by Alice Waters
The Omnivore’s Dilemma by Michael Pollan
The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo
“This American Life”
“Radiolab”

Course Outline:

Week 1: Grape Juice Pairing

The artisanal grape juice scene is gaining popularity. Grape juice is no longer just a cheap wine substitute for underage drinkers and people in recovery. We will learn to appreciate and understand how a food is enhanced when served with a glass of organic grape juice. This will help you develop a strong palate for your adult life. In addition, students will craft their own grape juice and research the possibilities for marketing the homemade juice at stands and local farmer’s markets.

Week 2: Raising Chickens

Don’t trust the eggs you buy in the market. Even if they are marked cage free, you have no idea about the chicken’s living conditions. Every student will adopt two chickens and learn how to care for them. An experienced woodworker will come in and build a coop designed to fit each chicken’s lifestyle. Students will also learn the difference between a pet and a service animal. This lesson will also prove helpful in other parts of the pupil’s social development. Parents must note, there will be an additional fee of two thousand dollars for this week.

Week 3: Baking without Sugar

The world is addicted to sugar. The sooner your children discover and understand this fact, the better and longer their life will be. We will also explain the many ways students can casually mention they are sugar free at a dinner party, which will instantly elevate their status amongst the guests. We will study how honey, agave syrup, and other alternatives to sugar are easy ways to erase sugar from their lives and help them stop leading a sugar-dependent lifestyle.

Week 4: Building an Etsy Page

Using locally sourced materials, each student is responsible for bringing in a craft to feature on our class Etsy page. We will investigate different forms of electronic currency exchanges and the best marketing strategies to promote our Etsy business, as well as, the fundamentals for building a click-worthy page.

Week 5: Creating a Rooftop Garden

As urban dwellers, it’s our job to partake in the green initiative for urban living. Using the Sunday Times Style section and a curated list of home magazines, we will compile a list of the best plants and trees for rooftop gardens. Parents are invited to participate in this weeklong class. There will be a field trip to the headmaster’s rooftop garden.

Week 6: Composting in an apartment and/or second home

Recycling isn’t just separating your parents’ wine bottles from their stack of old Atlantic Monthly’s. This week will focus on identifying which foods can be composted and we will provide a list of composting sites in the city and the country. At the end of the week, there will be a test on what foods can and can’t be composted. Just to note, Eighty-five percent of your grade is based on this test.

Week 7: Hosting a locavore dinner party

Using eggs from our coops and greens grown on the student’s rooftop gardens, we will create an ideal locavore dinner party menu. If any of the chickens are producing substandard eggs, we will add those chickens to our menu. Students who suggest we cook a subway rat will immediately receive a failing grade.

Week 8: Podcasting

Students will learn to express themselves through a series of short, recorded podcasts on well-researched subjects. There will be a speech pathologist on hand to weed out any children with regional accents or speech impediments. The podcasts will be peer-reviewed by the student population. The student body gets to vote on the best podcast. The winner will receive an A for the class.

Alison is a freelance writer and author of guidebooks, children’s books, and plays. You can find her at brooklynbaby.com and on Twitter @cityweekendsnyc.

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Alison Lowenstein
The Hairpin

Author of NYC guidebooks, articles, humor, children’s books, and plays. Find me at https://brooklynbaby.com