How Sexy Are Your Downstairs Gays On Instagram?

Do you stalk the gays downstairs? Is their Instagram tight? John Sherman is all over his gays downstairs:

Alone in my apartment, the sun setting slowly between the buildings across the street, I loaded page after page of vacation photos, wedding snapshots, and selfies around the city. I saw the Downstairs Gays on bikes, on Fire Island, on their back deck, and on a Grand Tour of Southeast Asia, for which they’d invented an unpronounceable hashtag. I watched their hairstyles and outdoor hobbies ebb and change with the seasons. Nestled among these mementos of glamorous, moneyed couplehood, I caught the first glimmer of what I’d been looking for: a photo of their apartment.

Technically, it was a photo of the luggage they’d packed for their unpronounceably hashtagged Southeast Asian vacation. But underneath the luggage was gorgeous parquet inlay bordering diagonal hardwood. It was perfect.

We should probably all be killed.