How to Enjoy A Rainy Day

THINK OF WORSE STUFF

Cirque du Soleil

A Capella music

The way your dentist’s hands smell

I have to put an IKEA chair together later, so you can put “Dayna Evans” on this list

Cities with restrictive open container policies

Sugar-free jam

Bats

DAVE EGGERS

Brainstorm ten tags that Dave Eggers might use if he were a graffiti artist. I’m going with Dick Socket first, HACK as a close second.

UPGRADE ADOBE READER

You cannot live one more day with that fucking red box startling the living shit out of you when you’re trying to Gchat. Just upgrade it. It takes two minutes, not even. 90 seconds.

WHAT’S UP WITH OSLO

Lots of smoked fish. Golden beer. People wearing shirts. Women with hair, in shoes. A library. Probably in Norway or the Netherlands but who can be sure?

Buy a plane ticket! That’s fun.

THE SUN

Is it really that great.

MEETUP.COM

I think this a website where you can meet people who also like Swiss chard, but you’re about to change the game up. Create a login and make a Meetup for RAIN SUX. Set the location for: your house. Time: now.

Watch as people are like,

“But, DanityKane568, how are we supposed to meet up?”

“This isn’t very community-friendly.”

“Should we get an administrator involved?”

“Let’s just block her from Meetup.com forever.”

Today’s first success. Congratulations.

BURNING MAN

“I’d like to barter this one abysmal crock of horseshit rainy day for your rainbow light-up love gloves from the furthest distant space star that you’ve had contact with, Meadow.”

DID YOU UPGRADE ADOBE READER

I can’t believe I even have to ask this again.

Photo via roger4336/flickr.

Previously: How to Take Advantage of Rhubarb Season

Dayna Evans is a writer. Find her on Twitter here.