I Would Like To Swim In A Pool: A Poem

A poem about how I would like to swim in a pool.

via

Here is what I want right now
No — need, and I don’t care how
Here it is are you rea-dy
To swim in a pool

Water cool and sun ablaze
Catching some of those hot rays
It would just be so much fun
To swim in a pool

Cold cocktail in my left hand
You can see I have it planned
I’m ready to go right now
To swim in a pool

“Do you have a pool?” I ask
“Would you be up to the task?
Of fulfilling this, my wish?
To swim in a pool?”

I wait for your answer now
Fingers tapping, wetted brow
Say yes say yes say yes please
I know you have one

Oh — you “do not” have a pool?
Hm, I think you’re being cruel…
I saw you swimming in one
In a pic online

Oh, that was your parents’ pool?
Ah, that’s fine, parents are cool
“Cool with me!” I always say
I am very chill

You say they live way too far?
No problem, I have a car
You say they are out of town?
Stop lying to me

Take me to your parents’ pool
Take me to your parents’ pool
I’m ready to go right now
To your parents’ pool

If you do not take me now
We’re not friends, this is my vow
If you value my friendship
You know what to do

I will list my attributes
First, there’re no substitutes
Second is I have a car
(You may remember)

So, hm, well, what do you say?
Why are you walking away?
HELLO FRIEND WHERE DO YOU GO?
…TO SWIM IN A POOL??

IF YOU’RE GOING TO SWIM NOW
I’M GOING TO HAVE A COW 
I DEMAND TO COME ALONG 
TO SWIM IN A POOL

I’M VERY GOOD COMPANY
ASK SOMEONE THEY WILL AGREE
NO ONE BETTER TO TAKE WITH
TO SWIM IN A POOL

STOP RIGHT NOW STOP STOP STOP STOP
STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP
STOP WALKING YOU STUPID BITCH!!!!!
TAKE ME TO THE POOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m sorry for my outburst
You see, I’m dying of thirst
I need a poolside cocktail 
OR I’M GONNA FLIP!!!!!!!!!!!!

I apologize again
Oh my, what a day it’s been!
Take me to your pool right now!
Yes, this is a threat!

Please stop dialing 911
You are spoiling both our fun
We could be splashing around 
In your parents’ pool

Hang up that phone right now, K?
This whole thing has gone astray
I’ll repeat once more, nicely 
Take me to the pool.

Yes, I have a knife in hand
I’m so glad you understand!
Finally, on the same page
Going to the pool

I’m so glad to be your friend
What should we do next weekend?
Are you thinking what I am? 
Great.

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