I’m Redecorating My Living Room*

Coffin Couch | VonErickson
They say that the centerpiece of any living room is the couch, so we’ll start from here and keep going. (I’m not exactly sure who “they” are.)

A Ghastlie Family Reunion in Mold Green | Hawthorne Threads
Purple and green is a classic combination, and I’ll need some upholstered arm chairs to set ‘round my coffin couch. This is the perfect fabric, in every conceivable way.

Tarantula Spider Table | Artful Home
It’s fun to watch your arachnophobic friends recoil in the face of a coffee table.

Spooky Hands With Ceramic Bowl | Grandin Road
Every well-appointed living room should have a candy bowl, don’t you think, Gretel?

Halloween Clock Tower | The Gift House
It chimes at the witching hour.

Capuchine Chandelier | My Modern Met
I’ll need some overhead lighting, of course. And what could be better than an overhead light made of heads?

French Gothic Mirror | Olde Chicago Antiques
How else will you know if you’re the fairest one of all?

Hidden Door Bookcase | oddee
We’ll need a place to stash all those Really Scary Books! And our board games, too.

Snake Vase Set | Laura Zindel
The perfect vase set for your gorgeous black roses.

Decorative Crow | Pottery Barn
Except no I would never ever have that in my home. (I’m Italian, so I think birds in the home are bad luck.)

Ashtray | AFG Distribution
Listen, are you gonna be the one to tell the coven they can’t smoke indoors? I thought not.

Zenith Floor Model
And finally, a TV that plays nothing except the The Unaired Elvira Show Pilot. No one loves The Unaired Elvira Show Pilot but me, and I understand why but I also hate that no one loves it but me. Maybe one of you will be the only other person in the world who loves it! (Lie and tell me you do.)

*I don’t even really have a living room, just an active imagination.