Katy Perry Fucked Up — BIG

No such thing as a “five-star Michelin,” Katy Perry. Sorry to say.

Have you heard this song? I hadn’t until three minutes ago. From what I can tell the music video was just released, but the song has existed for longer — an amount of time I’m unwilling to ascertain out of laziness and its ultimate irrelevance. A few minutes before I listened to the song I saw this tweet from Spoon Second co-host Brian Feldman:

He’s right, she does. In the first verse Katy Perry sings:

Looks like you’ve been starving
You’ve got those hungry eyes
You could use some sugar
’Cause your levels ain’t right
I’m a five-star Michelin
A Kobe flown in
You want what I’m cooking, boy

“Five-star Michelin.” Yeah right. That’s not a thing. Katy Perry — they only go up to three. Here’s a quote from a New Yorker article that the Michelin wikipedia also quotes:

The inspectors write reports that are distilled, in annual “stars meetings” at the guide’s various national offices, into the ranking of three stars, two stars, or one star — or no stars. (Establishments that Michelin deems unworthy of a visit are not included in the guide.) A three-star Michelin ranking — like that enjoyed by Jean Georges — is exceedingly rare.

See? At best — and this is exceedingly rare — you’re a three-star Michelin. I know it doesn’t sound as impressive but that’s the way it is.

That’s all,

Kelly

via
One clap, two clap, three clap, forty?

By clapping more or less, you can signal to us which stories really stand out.