Leave Mona Lisa Alone!

Edith Zimmerman
The Hairpin
Published in
2 min readApr 6, 2011

The archaeologists’ ultimate aim is to find enough skull fragments to be able to reconstruct her face, enabling a direct comparison to be made with the Mona Lisa.

How fucking dare anyone out there [exhume the bones of the woman who may have posed for the Mona Lisa] after all she’s been through!?

She [died], she went through [her entire life]. She had two [or more] fuckin’ kids [who are now also dead].

Her husband turned out to be a [silk merchant], a [friend of Leonardo da Vinci’s], and now she [may or may not be lying in pieces beneath a convent in Florence]. All you people care about is readers and making money off of her!

SHE’S A HUMAN! What you don’t realize is that [Mona Lisa] is making you all this money, and all you do is write a bunch of crap about her.

She hasn’t [sat for paintings] in years! Her [painting] is called “[Mona Lisa]” for a reason, because all you people want is [Mona Lisa! Mona Lisa, Mona Lisa, Mona Lisa. MONA LISA]!

LEAVE HER ALONE! You’re lucky she even [sat for that one painting], you BASTARDS!

LEAVE [MONA LISA] ALONE! … Please.

[The journalist in this Telegraph article] talked about [the fact that her bones may have actually been dumped in a “municipal site” 30 years ago instead], and said if [Mona Lisa] was [findable] she [would have her face reconstructed].

Speaking of [being findable], when is it [findable … aah, this is slipping away from me] to publicly [display the bones of] someone who’s going through a hard time?!

LEAVE [MONA LISA] ALONE! Please!

Leave. [Mona Lisa.] Alone. Right. Now. I mean it.

Anyone that has a problem with her — you deal with me, because she’s not [living] right now.

LEAVE HER ALONE!

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Edith Zimmerman
The Hairpin

Spiralbound editor. Formerly at The Hairpin. Also now making a newsletter: https://drawinglinks.substack.com