Millennial Medical Questions to Text My Mother

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My stomach hurts??? All I’ve eaten today is 27 cookies. Didn’t exercise much except for hitting “next episode.” Don’t want to barf and miss a moment of House of Cards, so please respond soon

If my vomit is blue but I haven’t EATEN ANYTHING blue is that ok??

My eyeballs taste weird?????? Weirder than yesterday, at least

Could I get pregnant if I sit naked on the couch where I found my roommate having sex??? Just say yes so I can show the text to her, gonna delete this and resend you this text in 5

What’s a food with iron in it?

What’s a good food with iron in it?

Can a candy with 100% fruit juice count as a fruit intake if I just suck all the juice out?

Howq cAn I prevent hangover alreadyy took 10 shotz love u

How sick would I get if I ate this dog biscuit? There’s 10 bucks on the line

Can hummus ever really EXPIRE though? It was still brown!

Med q 4 u! Cnt txt, hand cramp frm 2 mny selfies. Call me bck