British Newspapers

“Some have dismissed it as a hoax while others reckon it is an elephant lost in the Siberian wilderness. The third theory is the sighting shows a bear eating a huge fish.”
 — Is this a woolly mammoth? Is this a woolly mammoth?!

Chiara Atik is a writer who also refuses to be tamed/doesn’t seem to be domesticated/drinks olive oil.

Want to talk about terrible emails that ruined our lives? This guy does, and here’s his:

Nicola,
 Well, I guess that shows me what kind of person you really are. I hope I never see you again, and had no idea that I had been going out with someone…

Do you like pink-and-purple charts? According to this PaPC, 95% of British women carry mascara in their purses.

Why? No one knows.

An hour of pushing a mop across the floor and wringing it out in a bucket works off 238 calories, the equivalent of a chocolate bar or two small glasses of wine.

Hmm, I’m smelling … smoke. And then also, like, things burning in general. Hair, I think. Burning human hair. Yeah, that’s what that is! Phew, it was driving me crazy.

“Giving up alcohol did not transform Laura’s life for the better as she hoped.” — One woman tells a cautionary tale of abstinence and misery. Use it however you’d like. And then if you need more, here’s another essay with a winning title. “Oh, my mom? Yeah, she’s a journalist.”