What Dumb Name Are You Giving Your Dumb Baby?

Ha ha, “Furman” used to be a popular name for boys. FUR MAN. But all names are dumb. Why do we have names? Unfortunately, nobody names their babies “Elf” or “Gay” or “Neo” even after all those Matrix movies.

Nobody names their baby Dumb Baby. Too scared of the Baby Industrial Name Complex, probably.

My baby’s name will be pronounced {{..~..}}. Or maybe it will be just a long series of inhalations and sibilants, like one of those names that gay elves have in books (I’m looking at you, Goblin Emperor), and so everyone will be too afraid to call it anything.