Who Is Soapman?

Soapman is a corpse who has turned into soap.

“Soapman” lived in Philadelphia and was buried there around 1800. The body was discovered in 1875 during the digging of a train depot foundation. This unusual preservation occurred because water seeped into the casket and brought alkaline soil with it, turning the fats in his body to soap through a type of hydrolysis known as saponification.

Alternately:

“Jimmy, you have to take a shower now, you’re filthy.”

“I don’t wantttt tooooooo.”

“Jimmy. I’m going to count to ten.”

“One two three ten, I don’t care, I’m not taking one!!!”

“Jimmy. If you don’t take a shower right now, Soapman will get you.”

“What?”

“Jimmy, there’s a man who lives under our house.”

“What??”

“There’s a man who lives under our house. He died two hundred years ago, and they buried him under our house. The reason he died is because he was disgusting — he never bathed, he never even washed his hands. And so one day he just got so revolting that he passed away. But right before he died he made a wish, and that wish was to be clean. So after he died his body turned to soap, and at night he sneaks into people’s houses and cleans them.”

“WTF?”

“Ahh I don’t know.”

[Via]