Your Destiny, Your iPhone (-Pad, -Pod Touch)

Some of us at The Hairpin have a crippling weakness for fortune-telling, so when an evil witch (scojo) wrote in asking us to plug the app she and her numerologist friend spent six hundred years months putting together … it did not require much inner debate. Here we go: “The app is called Cosmic Mates and you can run compatibility on your loved one(s), friends, and family. It rates your relationship! Eek! Just think, how many people could avoid writing into to A Lady or A Dude or A Queer Chick or A Married Dude?” Wait a second, evil witch! We need those questions; why are you trying to ruin our website? In conclusion, don’t go get her app, even though it sounds fun and potentially crushing, and definitely don’t buy it ($2) when you’re out with your friends getting low on things to talk about. Don’t do anything she says, she is a wicked witch from the future.