You Will Make It
The forward motion of tragedy
Sobbing and gut wrenching along the way, some may call it human nature. Others could use the reasoning of entertainment. Most would probably admit to story-telling that doesn’t involve yourself is always the best kind. I’m at least subscribing to the idea that others’ hell simply remind us that we are not alone in tragedy.
Over time, I’ve had difficulty understanding this concept, but, man, I’m fully aware that tragedy is still tragedy, no matter what the face looks like. It can be attractive and debilitating, while at the same time very real and all-inclusive.
Severity is subjective. Whatever your hell, it’s still hell.
So, let’s stop pretending that one person’s hell is worse than another person’s hell. Let’s stop pretending it doesn’t bother us so we don’t have to deal with it. Let’s quit saying things like:
- Well, they’ve got it worse than I do.
- What a terrible time they had to go through.
- Nobody wants to hear my story after that.
Hell is family members destroying their lives while everyone watches. Hell is seeing someone walk out on their family. Hell is medication dependence. Hell is your dog dying. Hell is having no idea what you are doing as a parent. Pick one. Pick all of them. You have no idea how each of them affects people mentally, physically, and spiritually.
It’s true. We all understand that tragedy actually happens. However, we can’t accurately understand what each person goes through individually. Why do we spend so much time comparing atrocities of life like we can somehow assign value to struggle?
The benefit of a lifestyle that calls tragedy what it is, without comparison, is the that is provides the ability to look at the truth about tragedy across the board. The following are two truths that will help you frame up the truth about tragedy.
One:
You’ve either just been to hell and back, you’re smack dab in the middle of a setback, or you are headed for tragedy. We simply cannot avoid disaster, of any sort.
Bad stuff happens. Christ follower or not.
Got it all together or not. Rich, poor, cleanly shaven or finely groomed handlebars. The measure of a man who claims to follow Christ is always in the “what did they do next”. Because it’s likely we aren’t fighting it — we know what’s happening. It’s just likely we aren’t doing anything. As men, or at least for me, we need constant motivation to get stuff done, including dealing with the emotional and physical baggage of tragedy. The easiest route for us is to simply shut it in, shut it down, and wait on the extrinsic motivation that will never come from the world we live in.
Tragedy always moves our story forward in a way that shalom never could never accomplish” //Dan Allender
Two:
It could take days or it could take years to accept Dan’s words. And, while accepting it still doesn’t make the pain go away, it gives a perspective that helps us move our stories forward in a way that benefits everyone around us. When everything is in order and days are rolling along, the motivation for growth loses its luster. No one takes extra cuts in the batting cage after going 4–4 with a grand slam. Do they?
My life has been marked by both of these truths. The Bible uses this template over and over. It should no longer surprise us that God’s using tragedy to mold us. He’s been doing it literally forever.
The sooner I realized unrealistic expectations of an uninterrupted life most often will give way to disappointment and tragedy — the sooner I could be available for God to use any circumstance for whatever He wanted.
Hear me on this, Hangarmen. We can all make it to Hell & Back. For all of us, the time is coming or has come. It will make us better men — if we let it. I’m hopeful that I’m a better dad and husband, because at one point I wasn’t much of either. I’m hopeful that an acknowledgment that I’m not alone in tragedy will lead to an effort to be more compassionate and empathetic without being dismissive of my own pain. I’m hopeful my perspective will evolve in a way that allows me to appreciate the tragic.
Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved // Helen Keller
Allow God to move in the tragedy. Better yet, allow God to continue to shape you with the movement He’s already providing through your shared experience with tragedy.
