A Letter For The Anxious Heart

And three ways to cultivate calm.

Hilary Porta
The Happy Human
3 min readJun 10, 2020


Image by Republica from Pixabay

I know you feel you can’t control it.

The thoughts, feelings, emotions tumbling in your mind, like dirty rags in a washing machine…around and around and around.

I know your brain feels overwhelmed and it keeps you up at night.

I bet your last few months have held a lot of sleepless nights, racing thoughts, and lack of focus.

I bet you’ve lost weight, or gained weight, or don’t even recognize yourself.

I bet you feel like there’s nothing you can do to heal your pain, fix your wounds, and clear your mind.

I’ve been there. I know how it feels.

I remember the times I’ve experienced trauma…I remember when I thought I was having a heart attack, when I nearly lost my mind, when I almost gave up hope… I, too, have walked through “the valley of the shadow of death.”

Right now you’re wrestling with your inner self as you try to reconcile your outer world.

And you’re pinning yourself down again and again, pointing your finger at the woman in the mirror, asking her how she could be so selfish while the world burns around her.

The anxiety you feel is your physiological response to stress. It’s your body and mind going into survival mode.

Physiologically speaking, this is the way your body and mind try to protect you from danger. But when anxiety floods the mind with toxic thoughts and fear, you go from survival mode to complete chaos.

I’m going to give you a few tips to reduce your anxiety. They won’t fix all your problems, but they can get you going in the right direction.

Question your thought pattern

Our thoughts cause our feelings and behaviors, not external things like events and environment. In response to stress, negative thought patterns can take root in your mind and distort your perception of reality. One way to regain your sense of calm is to challenge your fears and take back control of your thought patterns.

Counteract worry with presence

When we spend too much time outside of the present moment, we can get depressed and anxious, literally filled full of fear. By focusing our attention on the present moment, we counteract rumination and worry.

When you find a quiet space to think and focus on the present, you come into an awareness of your emotions and create more adaptive reactions to stressful situations.

You can train the brain to bring attention to the present moment so you can more clearly process through emotions.

Direct compassionate thoughts towards yourself

Your worth is not determined by your ability to handle stress or your response to stressful situations; it comes from within. You are worthy because you say you’re worthy and because you believe it.

Make self-praise familiar. Become a champion for yourself. When you notice feelings of anxiety, reassure yourself by saying reaffirming and true statements like, “I am strong. I am capable. I am enough.”

Dear One, I wish I could snap my fingers and make it all go away.

But I can’t. So I just need you to know that you’re going to be okay.

That the weight you feel is a physical reaction from your body.

That it does not determine your worth.

That there is hope on the horizon, and you are not alone.

Sending you much love, gratitude and respect,




Hilary Porta
The Happy Human

Shame Slayer. Generational Shifter. Expander. Courage Ignitor. Advanced PSYCH-K® Practitioner.