The Number One Predictor of Divorce
It’s hard to come back from.
Other people only really exist in our imaginations because they’re only what we believe them to be. What we assign to them, they become, in our minds. Every time you attempt to change someone, you’re trying to change someone that doesn’t exist. It’s futile.
Change yourself instead.
That’s power.
For over 40 years, John and Julie Gottman have studied couples’ interactions with each other and have found that the number one predictor of divorce is contempt for your partner.
Contempt is the kiss of death to a relationship.
It is one of the hardest things to get past once you have reached a feeling of this magnitude toward your partner because it involves a profound sense of dehumanization.
Contemptuous behavior includes things like eye-rolling, sarcasm, and name-calling. These behaviors can land you permanently on the side of contempt — it is the single most corrosive behavior in a couple’s relationship and the number one predictor of divorce.
Treating others with disrespect, disdain, mockery, name-calling, aggressive humor, and sarcasm are all examples of contemptuous behavior.
