I got my First Pride Flag on June 25th, 2017

By Carolyn Grace

This piece is a part of the Harry Potter Alliance’s series for Pride 2017, exploring issues and perspectives from the LGBTQ+ community related to Pride. To find out more about the Harry Potter Alliance and how to get involved, visit thehpalliance.org.

I got my first pride flag on June 25th, 2017. It marked an important step in my journey of becoming a part of the LGBTQIA+ community. Since I learned about the LGBTQIA+ community, I’ve stood on the sidelines and supported my friends in this community. I watched them come together and celebrate their identities with pride. I knew I belonged there, but I never could get the courage to join them, so I stood on the sidelines.

Being bisexual is still a challenge within the LGBTQIA+ community. We are seen as being not “gay enough” while also being not “straight enough” for the heterosexual community. It was because of this feeling that I never participated in Pride celebrations myself. Instead, I stood on the sidelines.

I came out to my family in April of 2016. I was lucky enough to be supported by them, even if sometimes they don’t understand what being bisexual is really like. In June, I was excited to officially come out and go to Pride. I was finally going to celebrate my identity. Then, the Pulse shooting in Orlando, Florida happened. The tragedy shook me to my core. So many of my friends in the Queer community came together to raise their voices and speak out against hatred, to spread love, and to remember the 49 victims of the shooting. I wanted so badly to join in and add my voice, but I was scared. I was scared to be seen as a fake.

Image: quote graphic of black text on white background. Quote reads “I am proud to be out , and I will continue to fight for my visibility in the community and my right to belong” — Carolyn Grace

This fear of invalidity is something I experience every day. I feel this fear every time I come out to a new person, every time I walk in public. Despite this fear, I was still ready to attend Pride in June 2016. Unfortunately, the event was canceled. I remember being so disappointed. I was finally going to celebrate openly with the LGBTQIA+ community, where I belonged. But the chance was taken from me.

Pride passed and I continued to speak out against the injustice that the LGBTQIA+ community faced. To some people, I spoke as a member; but to most, I spoke as an ally. Then, November of 2016 came and I was afraid. This time, I was frightened of what the future might hold. I was scared for my friends and for myself. I watched so many people come out, claiming to fight for their community. I wanted to do the same, but I didn’t. I stepped back and I helped raise their voices, feeling as though my own did not belong. I felt like I was an imposter.

It wasn’t until March of this year that I came out publicly as bisexual. I came out on Twitter by writing a haiku. When you are bisexual, coming out isn’t a one-time ordeal. I feel like I am constantly coming out, but putting it out there in a public place like social media made me feel so honest. I was finally being true to myself, claiming my spot in this community. I wasn’t an imposter. I am proud to be out, and I will continue to fight for my visibility in the community and my right to belong. I stand with my Pride flag at my side and boldly proclaim that I am Queer.

Carolyn is a Slytherin, reader, bisexual, and wizard activist. She volunteers with the Harry Potter Alliance as part of the Chapters Department, and is always looking for ways to “do some good in the world” as Hermione Granger once said.

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the Wizard Activist

From the Harry Potter Alliance. We turn fans into heroes.

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