10 Signs That Scream, “You’re a Shitty Person”

How to spot a shitty person

George J. Ziogas
Apr 3 · 6 min read
Image: Drobot Dean/Adobe Stock

You already know plenty about the dangers of toxic people in your life, but have you ever stopped to consider that you might be the toxic person in someone else’s life? Yikes! That stings. You know exactly how it feels to come across a family member that leaves you feeling drained. You’re familiar with encountering a colleague that seems to have it out for you and wants to drag you into all the drama.

Or a neighbor that’s particularly difficult about anything and everything if it involves you. Perhaps it’s a friend that wears you down every time you chat. It’s unpleasant. It’s draining. It’s difficult to be around. These are people who don’t enrich you in any way, they make everything harder, and oh my God, you might be that person in someone’s life.

If you’ve ever worried whether or not you’re a shitty person, then you’ve come to the right place because today, reader, we are counting down all of the signs that suggest you might be the problem.

Before we get too deep, I want to ease you in with a few questions that may hint at your shitty behavior.

You’re in the kitchen grabbing a drink and an ice cube has gone flying from the tray and onto the floor. What do you do?

You’re out for a hike and as you turn deeper into the trail you spot some candy wrappers. What do you do?

You’re on public transportation, it’s been the longest day. Your feet hurt, your back is aching, and you could use something to eat. An elderly person boards. Do you offer them your seat?

You’re out walking your dog and he just did his business in someone’s yard, but nobody is around. Do you pick up after it?

In all of the situations above, you know what the right thing to do is. But do you do the right thing? Or do you opt for the easy thing? Of course, taking the easy road doesn’t necessarily make you a shitty person, but it does suggest you have work to do. That’s not really the toxicity we’re talking about, but it’s a good indication of how much work you have to do. Let’s take a look at 10 signs you are a shitty person.

1. You Enjoy Others’ Misfortune

You might not be proud of it, but there’s a part of you that gets a deep sense of satisfaction when things are falling apart for other people. Whether a dramatic breakup is unfolding in front of you or there’s some sort of disaster unfolding on the news. You get a perverse delight from it. You relish it. You enjoy it. If that’s the only thing that makes you feel better when you’re going through your own trouble, then you’re reaching a point of no return.

2. You Have Control Issues

You like to be in control. A lot of people do, but shitty people tend to take it a little bit further because they feel the need to be in control of everything. They don’t trust anyone to do anything and it often comes off as overbearing when you get too close to people. At a distance, you may seem punctual, polite, and concise. The closer people get the easier they see the truth.

3. You Have An Honesty Problem

Everyone tells a little lie from time to time, but shitty people just can’t stop telling lies. If they were being honest with themselves, they would come right out and admit that deep down, they’re just liars. The thing is, they might not realize they’re doing it. That’s how pathological it becomes. Whether you stretch the truth to make yourself look better or lie about every detail of your life, it’s not great.

4. You Have No Remorse

No matter how awful a shitty person is, they just can’t bring themselves to feel bad about it for even a second. They’re unapologetically shitty. As a result, they gaslight, they deflect, and they blame everyone else. What’s that old quip? No guilt, no shame, no excuses; or, know guilt, know shame, know excuses — the choice is yours.

5. You’re Cruel

Are you a cruel person? Do you hurt others, fight with everyone, and enjoy it? Shitty people often treat other people poorly and enjoy tearing others down. It’s pleasurable to them. This might go a ways to explaining why they enjoy the misfortune of others. It helps dull their personal pain, but that doesn’t justify such behavior. It might seem innocent now, but your cruelty may go too far one day.

6. You’re A Bigot

Bigotry comes in a lot of packages. The only way that evil can thrive on this planet is if good people are divided. That’s what terrible people do well. If you buy into the idea of sexism, racism, fascism, or homophobia then you’re probably a shitty person. You’re being willfully ignorant. We’re all human and we should treat each other that way. You can debate ideas, you can’t debate someone’s right to exist as they are.

7. You Refuse To Take Responsibility

Do you do as you please and refuse to take responsibility for the outcome? If you can’t be accountable for your behavior and you refuse to take responsibility for the pain you cause, then you’re probably a shitty person. On a smaller scale, if you love to blame others for your failure or misbehavior, you’re still a shitty person.

8. You’re A Bad Friend

Do you expect your friends to drop everything and run to your assistance? Do you offer the same in return? Probably not if you’re a shitty person. Shitty people always demand more from their friends than they themselves are willing to give. They just can’t help themselves! They want to take until the end of time and give as little as possible. Worse, they may just be around when friends are in their good times. As soon as the bad times roll around, they roll away.

9. You’re Manipulative & Belittle People

Shitty people are great at offering people kindness, but they’re more likely to do so when it benefits them somehow. In this case, as a way to manipulate others into behaving the way they want them to. Decent people don’t need something in return for their kindness. Likewise, belittling people is a form of emotional manipulation and it comes in different forms. From playing the victim when you were the problem to ridiculing the appearances, interests, hobbies, bodies, hopes, friends, dreams, cars, goals, or homes of others. You put others down because you don’t like yourself, it’s shitty.

10. You Don’t Respect Boundaries

Finally, shitty people don’t respect boundaries. You think being persistent is cute. You think your intensity is a strong trait. It’s not. It’s disrespectful to continually cross someone’s clearly drawn boundaries. If you guilt people into doing things for you, take advantage of something being a pushover, or refuse to take no for an answer, then the only thing you prove is that you’re a truly shitty person.

There’s a difference between talking shit about a person and talking the truth about a shitty person. Sometimes you just have to accept that some people are shitty humans and stop trying to see the good that isn’t there.

There are degrees to being a shitty person and sometimes, when we look at people who are far worse than us it’s easy to shrug off our own misbehavior. It doesn’t matter what degree of shitty you are, you can always work on self-improvement to be less so.

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