YEAH RIGHT!

10 Spectacularly Stupid Sayings, Sliced and Diced

Words of wisdom?

“There’s no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap.” Kevin James (When you’re right you’re right, so we’ll leave KJ’s bon mot alone.) Photo by Dylan Mullins on Unsplash

He died doing what he loved

Usually said wistfully, sotto voce in a misbegotten attempt to be kind or consoling.

Robbing banks, smoking crack, driving 90 in a school zone, having a heart attack while shtupping the babysitter.

WTF!

How is any of that cool?

But if you check out in the midst of these activities, does that romanticize your sins, or does it cast a warm fuzzy glow around the FUBAR miscreant who “died doing what he loved”?

Methinks, maybe not!

I got up on the wrong side of the bed

I know it’s wrong, and more than a little tangential, but this one is forever linked in my warped and sweaty mind to:

“I can’t get over a girl like you … so you’ll have to get up and answer the phone yourself.”

And just so all you chubby chicks who suddenly and passionately loathe me settle down, feel free to throw “guy” in there, in place of “girl”. I’m an equal opportunity non-pc asshat.