‘ROMEO KISSES BETTER THAN MY BOYFRIEND’

12 Things I Never Knew Before I Had A Dog

Dogs are everywhere. But the world of the dog owner was a strange new land.

Photo by Cristian Castillo on Unsplash

Nearly three years ago, we got our first ever dog — a cockapoo called Teddy. We had always been cat people but the kids were keen and, as we were working at home more too, it seemed like a good idea.

We found ourselves in a strange new world, with strange new beliefs, kit and jargon (‘soft mouth’, ‘prey drive’, ‘socialisation’). And I found out many things I’d simply never known:

1. Dog owners never refer to each other by human names.

You are always ‘Teddy’s mum’ or Lola’s gran’. To ask a fellow dog-walker their human name is an unpardonable faux pas.

2. Dogs can’t eat all sorts of everyday things.

Chocolate, onions, garlic, grapes, avocado, tequila… Who knew?

3. When people say ‘sorry the car smells a bit of dog’, they really mean ‘smells of poo’.

4. When male dogs don’t get done, it’s always the man’s idea.